The NEW and IMPROVED Lauren...

I always knew that I had the potential to be the person who I am today (the "AFTER" version of Lauren). I have always believed that I was destined for some kind of great personal achievement...even as a kid growing up. I know this based on my ever burning desire (albeit quite faintly at times) to be #1 at mostly everything I attempt...spotlight please. I embarrassingly admit that I am not the best loser either. I don't even like losing baking contests at work...which, by the way, is what helped get me in this mess to begin with.
Rewind to March of 2008...my personal bottom (which is ironically my personal peak on the scale at 230lbs.) just days before my 31st birthday. I would file that time (and months leading up to my 'Aha Moment') under Lessons Learned /Things I Hope I Never Forget. I was hanging on to the last of my unraveling rope by my pinky finger. I was drowning in self pity. My lifestyle and food choices were harmful and I felt myself starting to slip away from any vague remembrance of the vibrant, happy and generally all-around awesome woman I used to be. It really scared me too because I thought I had already unsuccessfully tried everything and I was strongly considering not getting up just one more time to try to be better once more. Screw that defeatist negativity!! I care more about me than I don't (make sense?). I did A LOT of soul searching. I raised my hand and said I had a problem and that I needed help because I was too weak to fly my Crazy Plane solo. I sit here now and think back to those days when I was looking forward blindly into this deep unknown called my future not knowing what it would bring (which has been the most amazing 'present' to unwrap). I started to stoke the fires in my belly to be well and have a normal (well at least not psychotic) relationship with food. I didn't exactly know how I would get there, or when, but I knew I would eventually arrive there...which is actually right here. I knew that where I was at that time was the last place I wanted to be and the only person in my life that was going to change me was ME. I stopped feeling sorry for myself, picked up my black and blue bloated and overinflated ego, talked to people with PERSPECTIVE, put down the fork, put on my sneakers and went about the business of personal and total 'Me world' domination...
This has been 3 1/2 years of blood, sweat, and tears in the making. 1, 2, 3, and a half...years. There was no 'Quick Fix' this time around. I had previously lost 50 (in high school), then 6o (after a break-up) pounds on separate occasions and fairly quickly each time and MOST importantly for all the WRONG reasons. This time around was different. There was nothing to distract me from myself and I was able to be completely selfish during the process. I started by slowly changing the way I thought about food (Biggest epiphany to date!!) and then I started changing my actions towards food and got my enormous behind back to the gym. I knew in my heart of hearts that I had at least 55 lbs to lose and having to do it AGAIN weighed heavily on me many times (pun intended). This was NOT about all-or-nothing, it was about making the next right choice. I persevered over the next year and a half and was able to get down to about 196 lbs. when I was introduced to one of the missing pieces of the 'New and Improved' Lauren puzzle...Crossfit ATP.
David, a guy from the gym I was working out at (love Memorial Hospital gym...big ups!) saw the little circuit training routines I had put together for myself (this girl loves a jump rope) and asked me if I had ever heard of ATP. He said they were doing some new things over there and they had small classes for $15 that I could go and check out and decide if I wanted to learn more about it. Plus they were working with kettlebells (???), which I heard little to zero about up to that point so I was naturally VERY INTRIGUED (because I thought I already knew everything!). I called the gym later that same day and made an appointment. I met Juan and staff in October of 2009 and my life would never be the same. I was excited immediately because these people were magnetic and I wanted the light I saw in them to radiate from me too! I even paid for personal kettlebell instruction so that I would be up-to-speed and not excluded from movements and classes that Juan required a certain level of instruction in order to participate in (Genius!!! because you have no idea how wrong you do many movements until you are properly educated on form, breathing, mobility, etc.). At the time there was just a small corner of the gym that was dedicated to this new kind of training. Then I started to hear this word 'Crossfit' getting thrown around (never heard of it before) and I started getting even MORE interested. I continued to train at ATP when the fundage would allow and then I heard the best news EVER...Juan is making the gym 100% Crossfit dedicated. At that point I knew I had reached the point of no return and I decided to leave my old gym and really put all my eggs into the Crossfit ATP basket. It was one of the best decisions of my health and life. Where do I sign? Yes, people...the first customer. Customer #001 as of 1/1/10. I wanted to make that mean something to me.
The thing I love about Crossfit ATP (and there is infinite awesomeness to list) is that even walking through the doors at almost 200lbs I never felt judged, or pitied, or neglected. I had already begun the inside transformation and all I felt was true encouragement and love from the start from every single person. People here are so genuine in their everything...gosh it leaves me at a loss for words, but just for a moment.
Fast forward to June of 2011. By this time I had gotten my weight down to about 186lbs (44 gone to date), namely because I was doing the food thing half-assed. I would work out incredibly hard and just kill it and then go home and eat kinda crappy and the scale wouldn't budge, but I was comfortable for a time there. Then that "winner" fire in my belly flared up again (no, it wasn't indigestion) and I wanted even MORE for myself. I started thinking about how to get to the 'BEST VERSION OF MYSELF'. On July 5, 2011 I went Sugar Free for 30 days (Biggest diet epiphany to date). That self-imposed challenge proved to be incredibly difficult (I was sadly and honestly addicted to sugar) and equally rewarding because I lost 13 pounds and gained incredible amounts of energy and firmness (BONUS: I ended up giving up Diet soda too). That put me very happily at 173 (57 lbs. down), wearing size 10 - 12 pants and LOVING LIFE in a very new and lovely way! Then Juan decides to throw a Body Challenge Contest open to anyone in the gym and the winner receives a FREE 1-YEAR MEMBERSHIP!!! That was all I needed to send me into a tailspin of hunger for my name to be preceded by the word Champion. I put in ALL the hard work, ran my house, kicked my ass, won the contest and realized a new personal best...159lbs (71 lbs!!)! I haven’t seen the 150‘s since 1998 or so. This last month has brought an additional loss of 4 lbs and I am now 155 pounds of pure hot heat! Seventy five pounds gone, but not forgotten. 75. God, may I never forget where I started. May I always appreciate the gift I have been given and may I inspire you to be the best version of YOU that you can be. It's all still very new and takes a bit of getting used to. Sometimes just catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror surprises me because it is almost a stranger that is looking back at me (or I think to myself, "What is my sister doing here?"). I can say this though…I have never believed in myself more, sat up straighter, stood up taller, smiled bigger, laughed louder, or hugged harder. I have NEVER felt sexier, stronger, or more beautiful than I do right this very minute. I’m smiling!!! I have every single person at ATP to thank for my new and improved ego, may I always remain humble. You ALL let me grow into this beautiful butterfly and you actually enjoy watching me be successful!!! There are ZERO haters here...just love. I look forward to each and every time that I get walk through the doors of this place. I have found a community of friends that love and support me in my personal goals. I have made life long friends as a result of the time I have spent here and I am truly thankful from the teeny tiny corners of my heart. I see so much success around me too. I see people coming into the gym getting leaner and stronger and more confident with each passing day. I see people changing their lives right before my very eyes and I LOVE IT!! I am only one single page in the book of Crossfit ATP that I hope is never finished being written, because I never want to get to the last page, because it is a story that deserves to keep being told forever and ever and ever. Amen. You changed me for the better and words will never be able to aptly express the monumental significance you are to me. I love you!

Your first member and BIGGEST (only figuratively now) fan,
Lauren Lesinski

Open LOVE letter to the 'SuperClubs Jamaica Photo Shoot' Group

I knew that I wanted to say this to you, I just didn't know where to begin. This experience was only 5 days for me but they were all so FULL of work, and party, and sun, and sweat, and fun that they have left such a huge impression on me.
If I already knew you before this trip I love you MORE now than I ever did. Thank you for allowing me to get to know you a little better and work with you in a new way. I am infinitely proud of you and I can't stop talking about it! Matt, Kristi, and Steve...true professionals. Such vision and talent. I just want to create more loveliness with you. Steve...take my picture!!!! I am even more proud that you allowed me to share in this AWESOME-ness (yes, that was for Team Awesome).
If I only know you now as a result of this trip...I kinda sorta mostly fell in love with you a little bit. I don't know what it was...your beauty, your handsomness, your laugh, your jokes, your compliments, your salt, your light, your creativity, your heart...YOU. From Crossfit workouts (Lindell and Lauren) to laughing so hard I was glad the bathroom was right there...twice (Loretta!!!!! I can't hardly WAIT to see you again!) to watching Drew doing the 'crybaby' was it??? on the dance floor with the Entertainment staff at Breezes Grand (shake it like it's paid for!) and swimming in the caves with everyone. Everest, you are, in a word, AMAZEBALLS!!! All the sexy models who worked the Hedo shoots...I had a BLAST! You made me want to get in makeup and wrap very little around my naughty bits and start striking a pose...GGGGrrrr baby! We all made something very special together...Gorgeous Jamaica-soaked memories that we get to take with us forever. And the PICTURES, child puh-lease those pictures!!! Brooke, Kristin and Steve...you are amazingly creative. So talented!!! Can I try to think of a better word than gorgeous and/or beautiful to describe your work??? Nope. Seeing the finished product just solidified how I felt about the project from the day Kristi showed me the wardrobe months ago...
Seeing what we did inspired me to make my own magic in life...you know that the Monday I came home I finished that contest at the gym and I did really well...and I spent the entire week floating on a cloud of happy accomplishment BECAUSE OF YOU (not the 6 weeks of HARD WORK I had just done in the gym) wondering if I was going to win it on Saturday. The cherry on the top of the sugar free ice cream-less sundae is that I DID WIN IT! All the while I could only think that I wished you were there with me. Standing by my side while I waited (stomach somersaulting) for the results and then being the first one to fight it out for a hug! Thank you for amazing, happy, gut-busting laugh inducing memories. So much so that I have to write you this letter to finally get it off my heart...lol!! I miss the Jamaica out of you.
I just want to tell you Lauren Steele that I so treasured our time on the kayaks and I am so EXCITED to see you reach all your dreams and goals in life...you are more precious than rubies my love! Jodi, Curtis, Daniel, Alex, Matt, Kristi, Jaclyn, Everest and Bailey (did I miss any other SoFla's?)...we have NO excuse not to get together soon...at least before the end of the year...OK?

It all felt so unfinished that I have to go back in December. It will not be the same without you...
From the bottom of my heart and with ALL MY LOVE,
Lauren

Prickly Pear Margaritas

1 bottle of Patron (I use the lime green bottle) or you can use Sauza Hornitos tequila

1 c. Grand Marnier (You can substitute Citron or Grand Gala)

2 ripe cactus pears (aka prickly pears)***Always wear protection on your hands when handling this fruit. They are covered with very hard-to-see prickles that take forever to get out of your hands)

1 c. FRESH lime juice (+ 1/4c more if you like it tart)

Juice of 2 FRESH lemons

1/4 c. FRESH Orange Juice (*optional - but it makes the drink)

2 c. simple syrup (I dissolve 1/2 c. sugar into 1 1/2 c. water to make it less sugary) OR 1/2 c. Light Agave Nectar and 2 c. water

Water to weaken (*if you can't handle it so strong)

NOTE: Prickly pears will stain everything, so do not cut them over any surface that can stain (I speak from years of experience). I usually do it over the sink. Hold the pear in your non-dominant hand. Carefully slice off the ends. Make a slit down the length of the pear and peel away the skin from the middle section. It is about 1/4 in. thick and you will know that you have cut through the fruit far enough because it will peel easily aways from the center. Chop the peeled pears into tiny pieces and funnel them back into the bottle of tequila. Refrigerate at LEAST overnight or up to one week (must stay IN THE FRIDGE). Strain seeds from the tequila in a strainer and place the tequila in a large pitcher. Discard seeds. Add the Grand Marnier, orange juice, lemon and lime juice and simple syrup to the tequila. Stir or shake well and pour over LOTS of ice in martini glasses. Sip slowly...this one turns me into a sleeping hobo at times!

Enjoy (This drink take a little bit of time but it is worth the work. I think my recipe rivals that of The Canyon in Fort Lauderdale, where I first tried these)

Love Letter - Crossfit ATP

Hello, hello...
Do you ever just feel sometimes that life just couldn't get any better than it already is and it is not for any real particular reason...you just feel good? Welcome to my today. It is another absolutely picture-perfect day here in sunny South Florida. I am so incredibly blessed that I get to call this 'home'. I am happy today. I wanted to tell you that. I wanted to say it out loud.
Life is good.
Sugar Free has actually been pretty easy to navigate through this past month. I am thankful there were no birthdays or holidays to try to throw me off my A-game. I have even stopped drinking diet sodas (couldn't believe that one!) and most things with white flour in them too (along with pretty much anything that 7-11 sells). I am leaner, lighter (13.5 lbs), and stronger. I can move quicker at the gym and have more energy for the whole workout. Today is the last day of my 30-day sugar fast and it just so happens to also be the NOW CANCELED Kings of Leon concert up in West Palm Beach. RANTY INTERJECTION: You canceled the show sighting exhaustion as the reason??? Aren't you guys rock stars? Isn't that what cocaine is for? You can't call in 'sick' to an entire city. C'mon guys...big boy pants now. Put em' on and get back to work already. And the cherry on top of the K.O.L. poop sundae is that the ticket was only $25 on a Groupon deal and you know how I LOVE a bargain! OK, done...

Now let's just talk about THE gym for one minute...the ONE and ONLY gym. And it's not just a regular gym. I don't want to sound fanatical about it, because those kinds of people annoy me; but this Crossfit/kettlebells thing I got going on here is BUTTERS! I have been lifting in the gym since I was 16 (along with team sports from Middle school on up) and I have never had this effective of a workout in such a short amount of time. It schools me EVERY night. I will NEVER say that I have "arrived" when it comes to Crossfit. It continues to humble me every single workout. Complacency is not a word in the Crossfit dictionary, Just when you start to master one skill, a new more challenging one is presented to you. Every workout looks easier on the board than it is to execute in real life.
Next skills to master...the 10-minute squat test and 100 double unders in a row

NOW let's talk about the people in THE gym for a minute...these are ONE and ONLY kind of people. In a word..you are AMAZING. Just a nice group of people to be able to work out with. No judgment, just encouragement. I LOVE YOU!!! I have been fortunate enough to make some really great friends here and I really do feel like we all belong to something bigger than just a gym...it's a frame of mind, or a way of life...no wait;
A movement.
Where else can you play old-school DODGE BALL folks? BEAT THAT! I will warn you though...if Russ is playing, make sure you are on his team otherwise watch out. He has a MEAN curve ball...(love ya Russ!)
When is the last time you played dodge ball or swung from rings, or did a handstand or a cartwheel, or climbed a rope or a wall? Elementary school? Please, please, please check this place out. Or check out a Crossfit near where you live. Even you meat heads out there...you think you are in shape, think again. Andy can run circles around you and he's probably older and definitely stronger than you...and my money is on him every single time. It's the best thing out there...period. And I know a lot about a lot.
Save high school, I am in the best shape of my life (at 34 yrs old) AND (BONUS here!) I'm having the most fun getting into it here. http://www.crossfitatp.com/ If you know me then you know I am overgrown child at heart, so this is the natural progression I should have towards fitness.

In conclusion (it's almost over folks), to anyone I have ever had the PLEASURE of meeting at Crossfit ATP, thanks! It was great meeting you and it's even better knowing you. Thanks for being there, right next to me, sweating it out in unison, to the bumping old school hip hop on Pandora blaring overhead. If you are gone now, I miss you. If you are thinking about coming back but are worried that you have been gone too long, I miss you even more. Come back. If you will be there later today or tomorrow, I will see you then.
Strong is the new skinny.
Crossfit is the new SEXY.
BIG HUGS and EVEN BIGGER KISSES
LaLa (my new name for the board)

SUGAR FREE and buying a smaller size

As I close the book on Chapter 16, or should I say...as I watch the sun fade into the Western sky at the end of my 16th SUGAR-FREE day (much more poetic and does it ever paint a picture) my mind, body and soul feel really good. The first day was easy because there was no withdrawal...yet. Fast forward to the end of Day 3. The dull pounding in my temples only reminded me that this was my body's way of scolding me for bulking it up into the fluffy and bumpy shape it had become. That only lasted that evening...and after 2 Tylenol PM I woke up fine the next day. Fast forward to today. I have lost 13 lbs. Now let me quantify that. The weekend before this began I ate so much sugar that it registered a bit high on the scale of the morning of day 1. I remember looking at the number and thinking...you really did enjoy your 4th, didn't you? I think I may have high fived myself at one point...I JUST DON'T CARE...13 lbs!!! I can't lie though. I have an unhealthy adoration for sugar and I MISS IT!! Seriously, if I see another commercial for the Wendy's berry ice cream concoction, I may just blow my brains out. No wait, I have one better...every time I have to lap it at the gym, I have to gaze across the road at a Checkers, knowing that tonight I will NOT be having the Cookies and Cream shake. I actually really love that I eat mostly salads and I don't care if there is regular vinaigrette on it. I can always order a salad...no matter where I go. I have found I am not eating as much bread either (I KNOW...it's got sugar in it!). My only 'cheat', if you will, is YoBlendz or D-Lites froyo. I can't resist...so I will take 2g sugar an ounce over Ben and Jerry's or McDonald's. I could do this for the rest of my life...with the occasional fill-in-the-blank thrown in. Meat, fish, veggies, fruit, olive oil, nuts, heavy whipping cream in my coffee, froyo. Not a bad general guideline for me. I am shopping the outer edges of Publix these days. I don't want to be so rigid that no one ever wants to go to dinner with me. The sugar fast officially ends on 8/3. When I go to New England the day after that I make no promises to stay off sugar. Live a little. This Crossfit gig is NO JOKE. I am tired!!! You know when I started this blog entry??? Day 10. No lie...the first thing I did before finishing this was change the numbers in the first sentence. When I get to Boston, I will check out the local Crossfit box and make some new friends. Hopefully they have FROYO there!!!

Seriously though...To anyone out there struggling with letting go of what holds you so tightly...you can totally do this! You just have to commit to the first step and if you want to move forward you take another one. It's easy math. Anything in life that is really worth doing takes nothing but hard work. There is no magic pill. Remain encouraged. Believe in yourself and know that you are more than capable.....

XOXO