GOT BELLS???

I started CrossFitting almost 4 years ago (WOW, time sure does fly when you are having fun). At the time I decided to get one-on-one coaching to learn the discipline of swinging kettle bells. I would not trade the money I spent on those sessions for anything. 

It is BY FAR the most exhausting, challenging, and demanding discipline that I have ever done while standing still (save for a few movements). Now don’t get me wrong…I LOVE CROSSFIT (like in an almost borderline unhealthy kind of way) but I DREAM about swinging KB’s. I am not naturally inclined to doing anything fast (i.e. running, jumping, sprinting, short distance running, long distance running…you get the idea) but I am inclined to lift heavier weights. I can take my time, set up my lift, and GO! That is what I love about kettle bells. I use my natural ability to lift heavy while I work on improving my cardiovascular strength by performing the movements at a high intensity. Did you get all that? That is the biggest joke I play on myself with KB’s…that I am merely working on my strength when I swing. Bollox!!! I sweat more and breathe heavier in a KB class than I do in most CrossFit WOD’s. Why is that? Generally we are doing at least 45 minutes (if not a full hour) of straight swinging with very little rest in between each grouping of swings.

Each class always starts with a warm-up to get our muscles stretched out and ready to begin the day’s kettle bell workout. We warm up with a kettle bell, work out with a kettle bell (or sometimes 2), and end with core work using a kettle bell. Usually the workout combines CrossFit type elements or structure. For example, last Saturday the warm-up was 3 rounds of 5 R/L windmills and 15 goblet squats. Then we went right into a modified version of the CrossFit WOD Fran (21-15-9 thrusters and pull-ups) and I swung a 12 kg. bell on 21-15-9 R/L HEAVY KB snatches and ring rows. Can you spell SPENT and DYING after anywhere from the 5-10 minutes it took each athlete to finish? We had about 3 minutes to recover and then we went straight into 4 rounds (20 seconds on: 10 seconds hold in rack or transfer) of R/L push press & front squat COMBO with a 12kg bell. The shit kicker: You NEVER put the bell down. If you put the bell down at ANY time during the 4 rounds it’s 5 burpees on the spot. Now, if that doesn’t motivate you to hold on until you’re finished, I don’t know what will…HAPPY SWINGING! We did some other stuff too, but my brain blocked it out for my own good.

But it really is HAPPY SWINGING!!! I LOVE the challenge of swinging heavier weights for shorter periods of time and challenging myself to keep my form right (legs locked and butt clenched for dear life) while keeping my feet properly spaced and aligned AND keeping my mind sharp by actually paying attention to what I am doing (counting reps or just knowing what comes next).

The thing that gets me the most is there are very few guys in the class. It’s usually all women or at least I can safely say that each class is a majority of women. What gives? What is keeping you from this epiphany of epiphanies??!?!?!?!?!? 

GUYS…YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE MISSING!!!!!

This is NO JOKE, KICK YOUR ASS kind of training. IF you do it RIGHT. I know you think that you just need to lift heavier and run faster and lift even heavier still, but you can be brought to the edge of complete and total muscle failure and total body exhaustion with just ONE 16kg bell in 60 minutes or less. I PROMISE or your money back.

When I finally decide to set up my “home gym” it will be comprised of one thing, a 12 kg kettle bell (because I already own a jump rope). When I decide to upgrade that home gym of mine, I will invest in an 18lb, a 16kg, and a 20 kg bell. I just need one of each. I love training with double bells, but I can get a very effective workout with just ONE bell.

I want to encourage you to get back to swinging your bells!!! If you haven’t taken the workshop, NOW is your chance…We have one on 8/31 at 9am and you can sign up in the gym. Take a quick peek at some more info HERE.

If you have already taken Juan’s kettle bell workshop, then there is no reason why you can’t make it to 1 or 2 KB classes each week. We swing EVERY Tuesday and Thursday at 6am, 9am, and 6pm and EVERY Saturday at 10am. We need to keep the attendance up in ALL of these classes to ensure they stay on the schedule. Remember what happened to weekday Oly Lifting???

Seriously though, this has changed the way I think about exercise and that was after CrossFit started blowing my mind. I'll be there at 6pm sharp tonight.

I DARE YOU TO THE CHALLENGE!!!

#1 Dad

I love this picture because even though we both have our bathing suits on we look naked...which is totally awkward and perfectly Lesinski. I love you Dad!

I wouldn't be the woman I am today without your guidance and influence. You have taught me so much about everything in life. Priceless lessons that I will treasure forever. I couldn't be more proud to call you my father than I am at this very moment. Where do I begin? Sometimes I feel like you could have been the one to have given birth to me, we are so much alike. In some ways not so good, but in the most ways, GREAT. You were and continue to always be there for me, teaching me life lessons as I dust myself off when I fall. You have talked me off of countless proverbial ledges, while drying my tears. You remind me that "Everything is going to be OK." You remind me to take life One Step At A Time. You taught me that failure is inevitable but giving up is unacceptable. You helped me find my voice...N.L. all the way baby!! You and Mom brought Jennifer and I up in a house full of faith that continues to be the firm foundation on which we stand. You taught me how to drive stick. I will never forget you stopping your truck on a hill at Presidential Circle and pulling the ER break, You turned to me and said, "OK Lauren, now it's your turn" and you patiently waited for me to 'get it.' You helped me buy my very first car and gave me a love for REAL country music. I wanted to quit basketball in 7th grade and you wouldn't let me. You said "you made a commitment to this team and you will see it through" and that is exactly what I did. You taught me how to shoot pool. You taught me the game of football and gave me my love for the Buffalo Bills and also taught me that losing gracefully is the only way to take 4 consecutive Super Bowl losses. I am STILL a fan and will be forever, thanks to you. You taught me how to bowl and swing a golf club. I always love when we get together and hit a bucket of balls or play a few games of bowling. You taught me how to ride waves with and without a surfboard. You called us every morning before school to say you loved us, even when you lived in Hawaii. Did you set an alarm for 2:00am every day just to be sure you would make it? You have taken me to the airport COUNTLESS times for most of the trips I have taken, even if it was late and you had to get up early the next day for work. You are the funniest man I know and your comedic timing is downright perfect. We are always laughing together and I love that. Don't even get me started on all the road trips (and Jackson Hole!) that we have taken over the years. We need to do that again, SOON. My life is better because of you. You shaped my outlook on life and much of who am I am today. There is no gift that I could ever give you that compares to the priceless gifts you have given me. On that note, can I borrow $20?

I love you Dad...the BEST DAD IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!!

Operation NEXT

What a May it has been. A May like no other, and hopefully a May I will never repeat again. Don't get me wrong though...I am thankful for it, because if I didn't learn something (or 100 things in this case) from this month then it all would have been for naught.

My successes in life teach me little, however, my failures continue to teach me volumes. I have to be honest with myself and everyone else, no matter the cost. This is not the easiest thing to do for someone who is a "people pleaser." Even if it hurts you, even if I don't want to say it, even if you don't want to hear. I MUST BE HONEST ALWAYS. I won't tell you what you want to hear, but I will tell you what I need to say, because that's fair to both of us. What you do with it is on you. Honesty first and always...no matter what.

May was the month of the "breakdown". My body, my mind, my spirit. They all got a complete overhaul this month. I spent 2 nights in the hospital with an incredibly terrible virus and I have no insurance. The running joke is that I can't get sick because I don't have insurance. Ironic, because for the almost 11 years I was at SuperClubs I hardly ever got sick, let alone needed to be hospitalized. I had to humble myself enough to admit that I wasn't going to get better without the help of professionals and continuous intravenous fluids. My mom's taking bets at work to see what my luxury stay will cost me. Thanks Mom...and yes, I am feeling better.

May brought about the realization of just how important a certain person is to me. The kind of realization that comes after a very quick phone call about an accident. An accident that could have taken this person away from me...but it didn't. The realization of just how much I love and care for this person. The thought of losing someone you love so fiercely and deeply that you couldn't even fathom your life without them. 

I also realized some of my limitations. I realized some of the things that I am not cut out for. It was hard to take this look at myself and realize that I was failing at certain things. It was even harder to admit it to others. I am not Super Woman...even though sometimes I think I should be. A BIG ole piece of humble pie for me.  

This is not a realization but let me just add here that I have the most amazing family. My parents and my sister are my biggest fans in life and they hold me up when I can't stand. They remind me of what's important in life. They bring true and honest perspective and I could never thank them enough just for who they are.

May brought me many lessons. Mostly what May brought me was HOPE. Hope for today, and tomorrow and for every part of my life. Fear is no longer going to motivate me. I am going to motivate me. I know that I know that I know that everything will work out the exact way it is supposed to. No matter the cost.

I am REALLY excited for June...

Celebrating 36 Years of Lauren!

Looking Good LaLa!

I actually never gave it much thought as a youngster...getting older that is. I remember when friends in school used to talk about where they wanted to be in life by the age of 25, 30, or 40. They would says things like "I want to be married and have 2 kids before I turn 30" or "I want 8 bridesmaids for my wedding" and all the while I was thinking to myself that I don't even know 8 girls well enough to ask them to wear a hideous dress in my honor on my special day. When I heard all the girls talk like this, all the time I was thinking to myself "should I make my goal to make my first $1,000,000 by 25 or 30?" I wasn't so concerned with wedding dresses and baby clothes back in the day. Here I am now at the ripe old age of 36, still not so concerned with those things. Or thirty-fabulous...however you count time is fine by me. Fabulous is ageless.

My focus today is on where I am right now, at this point in my life (still trying to make that first million). It's not about the husband or the kids or the car or the zip code I don't have. It's not about comparing myself to where I think I should be today based on my age. I could potentially get very disappointed that I haven't "arrived" at the predestined station in life I should have by now. Balderdash!! I am EXACTLY where I need to be today. Exactly where God wants me to be..TODAY. I don't know what the future brings...there may not even be a tomorrow for me...I just know that today I am alive, which means there is something more for me to do on this gorgeous green sphere of dirt...namely blow out the candles on my Carvel cake!!!

I am truly thankful for every experience in my life...even the bad, sad, terrible ones... because I have learned something valuable from each an every one of them and they have helped to shape who I am today. I will always stay true to me. I will always smile first (and then sometimes maybe I will cry so be ready for it...just sayin'). I will always (be proud to) wear my heart on my sleeve...because it looks so good there and since it has always been there I see no sense in moving it now. I will love you FEARLESSLY, audaciously and big (even if and when you hurt me). I will fail big and I will fail often and you can bet your bottom dollar that I WILL get back up and try it again. I will always fight for the important things in life. I will forget my train of thought at some point in our next conversation and ask you "What was I just saying?" and that will be your queue to clue me in. I will bake MY world's best banana bread. I will always assume the BEST in people until they prove themselves otherwise (and then I will still probably give you at least 3 chances to make it right before I tap out and call it quits). I will always prefer my cooking to a restaurant (and I don't need to be tipped). I will always fall short of perfection but I will never give up on "The best version of me". I will speak and WRITE! my mind and my heart without fear of judgment (still getting this one right). I will love music, and travel, and food, and wine, and dancing, and movies, and foreign languages, and different cultures, and above it all...Jesus. I will remain a teachable woman and I will humble myself to constructive criticism from those who love me. I will stay me, the true essence of me, going forward...no matter what. It has been one amazing ride up to now and I hope and pray for many more of these March 27th's to come in my life...

There ain't no one like me and there never will be.

Happy Birthday to a real ORIGINAL!!! 

Chapter 2013

Side Note:  This book starts at Chapter 1977

Since my new job will be taking me in the direction of my life's passion, I am compelled to write.

2012 was not the best year for me and I will be the first to admit it.
There were some incredibly bright highlights (don't get me wrong) but it was mostly just an uphill struggle for the majority of the year.  I finished my 10+ year career with my previous employer when they decided to shut down the business.  I knew it was coming and the last six months of 2012 were really tough...but now that a month or so has gone by since the company closed, I am grateful that it is finally ALL OVER.  I am thankful for every single day I spent at that company and I will never forget the people it introduced to me and the places that it took me.  Thanks for the memories!  Ten+ years is a LONG time and now I am ready for a new thing.

Let me start this next part off by saying that NEVER in all my years did I think that this NEW thing could ACTUALLY POSSIBLY happen at this stage in my life.  I did not even consider this when I knew that I would be needing to acquire new employment.  The thought never entered my brain, so to say that this whole thing is crazy would be the understatement of 2013.  I spent the better part of my entire career (almost 18 years) in a call center managing sellers of travel. After that I did administrative and human resources management. Very worky work. You know...the work that the company needs you to do.  Fine.  Doin' it well.  Now switch to the nights and weekends Lauren.  I LOVE to write...so much so that I started writing a blog about six years ago. Just for fun.  For me and the people I want to talk to about the things in life that are important to me.  My personal Passion Project if you will.  For fun.  Couple that with an amazingly supportive fan base of family and my Facebook and CrossFit ATP community and I could just write forever.  So that was the set-up and now here comes the good part...I promise!

One of my biggest blog supporters just hired me!  To work and write! For her.  Did you hear me?!?!  Getting paid to WRITE.  I still haven't landed on the ground yet.  You want to talk about scared and nervous?!  Check and check.  You want to talk about what just slightly outweighs the crippling fear???  PASSION and  EXCITEMENT

The essence of me (Lauren!) got me this gig.  The Lauren that gets down and dirty in the gym, cursing whatever comes to mind.  The vulnerable and funny Lauren.  The Lauren that loves food so much that I have been known to describe food in almost pornographic detail.  50 Shades of Grilled right here baby!  The Lauren that struggles with all the things in life that makes me type up a blog post. The Lauren that lost 65 lbs and won a contest and lights up a like a Christmas tree when I get to talk about it.  That one.  That's the one that got this NEW THING going.  As I type these words I still sit in amazement.

I am ready.  Everything else leading up to this has prepared me for this day.  I am going to put on my big girl boots, tie them up really tight, and start climbing this mountain one step at a time.  I will reach the top.
I believe in ME...
Victorious.

I'm SEXY and I know it...do you?!

Have you ever realized just how sexy you really are?  Like REALLY KNOW that you are DROP DEAD SEXY?  Do you really believe it?  It took me many years to be able to say (and believe) "I'm sexy and I know it!"...as she typed with LMFAO's hit song of the same title playing on Pandora behind her.

I ' M

S E X Y

AND   I 

 KNOW IT

Merriam Webster defines sexy as "sexually suggestive or stimulating and generally attractive or interesting."  That underwhelming definition does not help much to convey today's message.  I personally prefer the synonyms listed for SEXY including 'bodacious, desirable, dishy, hot, luscious, and toothsome'.  Oh to be a luscious and toothsome woman and to be 'of palatable flavor and pleasing texture'!!!  
OK, so now that we're all warmed up, we can get down to business...

I can only speak from a SEXY woman's perspective.  Sexy begins with a state of mind.  You FULLY believe in your attractiveness and suddenly realize that you are wonderful exactly the way you are.  For me, that didn't happen until I was a little older (early 30's).  I finally realized that I am pretty amazing just because I'm me.  Once you get to that point, the rest should get a little easier.  
First off...stop comparing yourself to other women.  You are YOU!! You are beautiful and sexy just as you are.  You will never be (insert millionaire actress/singer/athlete here) so stop getting down on yourself that you aren't some other woman that you can't or won't ever be, because you are uniquely YOU.  

BE YOUR OWN KIND OF SEXY

Own your 'hot-ness' and never apologize for it.  Take compliments when people give them and NEVER DISMISS THEM! Walk into every single room you enter with a smile and look people in the eye, even at Publix.  You will shock most people, but who cares. You are TOO SEXY to be concerned about that.  Get a mani/pedi AND a massage. Buy something RED to wear.  Oh, the power of RED!  Buy something silky and beautiful to wear under your clothes and wear it on a plain old Tuesday to your desk job, you naughty girl.  You will be ready for Tuesday NIGHT by the time you get home...and your significant other will be pleased to find out they will be having YOU for dessert. Better yet...one up yourself and buy some ULTRA-SEXY and FUN temporary  ta-ta-toos® .  What fun!!! 
You don't call them fun bags for nothing...
Temporary ta-ta-toos®
For just a few dollars, you can say something naughty, or nice...or both.  Imagine the look on his/her face when you take your blouse off next Tuesday to reveal something like Let's Celebrate or Welcome Home.  Your significant other will think they forgot about their birthday and just hit the SEXY lottery all on the same plain old work day. And well, let's be honest.  They did.  I mean look at you!!! You are gorgeous girl! Beautiful!!
Most importantly...you are SEXY!!! 
Now get out there, SPICE it UP, and show me what SEXY looks like.  
Work it!! 
Own it!!

Just try and beat me...I dare you.

It's official.
I am ready.
Again.
To dominate.
All competition.

I'm not gonna lie...it has truly been a life full of decadence these last few months following what could have been my very last ride in a car.  Remember kids...Seat belts are in the back seat for a reason.  Don't believe me?  I've got the scars to prove it. Buckle up!  
Life changed forever & drastically on March 4, 2012, never to be the same again.  So much so (as near death experiences normally do) that all the itty bitty annoyances in life that used to bother me so much have all but melted away, forever banished to the "It really doesn't matter anyway" file.  Let me add here that driving on I-595 or being a passenger in anyone else's car is still a work in progress.  These days it's all about enjoying EVERY SINGLE DAY to the FULLEST.  Really LIVING life!! Spending time with and money on the people I love the most in life...starting with me (yes, it's OK for me to make me #1 in my life).  Family, friends, food, fiestas, and travel, travel, travel. I can't take any of this $$$ with me when I go so I might as well enjoy it while I'm here.  I'm already planning vacations for the remainder of the year....who wants to go back to Mexico with me?!?! Seriously...who's in?

The funniest thing about the accident and my never ending quest to be happy with my body is that I seemed to keep most of the weight OFF until I got back into the gym. (Yep, I'm just all giggles over it) Here I sit, typing, 3 months into my rehabilitation and I've gained weight!! 
Uh oh...This should not have happened because I have actually been getting stronger in the gym, making gains and progress in the areas I was so initially so weak. Don't get me wrong, I love exactly who I am right this very minute, I just know that it's time to do some NEW & IMPROVED work... 
I got a little weak in the fork/spoon/knife/sugar/alcohol department and I can accept that.  I know that to be able to say that out loud without wanting to kill myself with a dull butter knife is the step in the right direction thanks to my new perspective shift and I don't feel like it's the end of the world!!! Imagine that.  The world has not stopped spinning on it's axis because I put on a few lbs.  In fact, I am even MORE excited to be even better than I was this time last year.  I remember, do you?
I am saying ALL of this out loud simply for accountability.  I know that I am not perfect, but I am capable.  Success is within my reach.  Why can't I do this two times in a row?! (I couldn't think of a reason either) I have all the tools at my disposal. I will keep a journal this time around too.  I have an INCREDIBLE network of support and love in my team. 

Let me leave you with this...I hope you all enjoyed my brief stint as a more voluptuous woman.  I certainly did.  Gaining weight was easy AND fun...SO. MUCH. FUN.  Enjoy the curves while they last for I will be trading them in soon enough for some SUPER ripped abs and an ASS you can bounce a quarter off of and then crack some nuts with.  What?!  There is nothing unreasonable or out of line with that last sentence. That's all the motivation I need.  Well...that and the fact that I REFUSE to spend any more money on clothes that I will soon no longer need.  Today it's drawstring linen pants coupled with the hope I make it into my fave pair of painted on skinny jeans just in time for the Fall.

3...2...1...Dominate.

Thank you for being a friend...

It's quite humbling to come back from an injury and realize how weak your body has become.  It's also tough to rebuild your body after an illness.  Let me be completely honest, it's been a really nasty slap-across-the-face just trying to get back into shape after six Mimosa floated days in Mexico.  But, alas...here I am and today proved to be one of those days.  WOD #3 since vacation, 2nd time doing pull-ups since the accident.  I think I did Fran in 7:34 once Rx which is not too shabby if I do say so myself.  Tonight, Fran just laughed and laughed as the seconds ticked by because my body continued to fail everything I was willing it unsuccessfully to do from inside my brain.  I have always been slow and and more than happy to bring up the REAR on most occasions (holla!), however, today was not the day I expected to do it.  I realize that I have a long way to go to get back to where I was on March 3, 2012.  I have to start over in many respects and I am finally coming to terms with that.  I looked around the gym tonight as I was drifting in and out of clear consciousness during my 10+ minutes of hellish brutality (slight over embellishment) and saw so much support.  All I wanted to do was shout out loud to all my pull-up muscles, "Why have you betrayed me, you weak traitors?!" As the athletes started to finish their WOD, I continued to struggle through mine.  I could hear many different people cheering me on as I fought off the thought of quitting while thrusting 65 pounds up 21, then 15, then 9 times.  Oh..and the pull-ups...the HUMANITY!!!  I watched others struggle right along side of me as the Coaches prodded us all on ultimate victory.  
The victory is the finish (New T-shirt design?) 
I got to see the determination and drive of a man face-to-face tonight.  I could feel the struggle of every individual out there in the gym.  I want to take this opportunity to publicly thank each and every one of the beautiful people I had the pleasure to sweat with tonight.  Your HEART makes you so PRETTY, GORGEOUS, BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING I can't hardly stand it.  Your presence and encouragement are worth the price admission each and every time.  I love to cheer you on and I love to hear you scream my name too!  Seriously though...you meant so much to me tonight that I am telling you about it at 10:00pm.  

Hugs...and kisses?! 

Teacher Love

On this MOST IMPORTANT of occasions, Teacher Appreciation Week, I need to sow some seeds of teacher love with my most refined skill of blogging wordsmith-ery (and yes, I do make up words when the occasion calls for such).  I am educated and I have the diplomas to prove it.  I am very proud of accomplishing my own personal goal of graduating college, however, my love for school and learning was cultivated many years before I could even find the hypotenuse of a right triangle.  
It all started back in a little Lutheran school in Hollywood, FL when I was 3 years old.  
St. Mark's!!! Woo Hoo!!!  
Some of my fondest childhood memories (as well as some of the most difficult life lessons I learned) date back to the 11 years I spent there.  It was the dedication of the teachers and coaches at that school that prepared me to excel in high school, then college...and ultimately in life. 
I would like to now publicly thank the STAND-OUT teachers who helped to mold me into the fabulous and smart person I am today. (I'm humble too folks)
Mrs. Human (3K) - Thanks for the finger painting lessons and not judging me when I ate paste that one time.  That other kid made me do it.
Mrs. Zugar (4K) - Top 3 Teachers of All time - You were always kind and patient with me (and there were 15 other 4 year olds in the room at all times with me) and even 31 years later I can still feel your love for me.
Ms. Drumm (2nd grade) - Your love of Miss Piggy was awe-inspiring and I always loved when you would play records for us to sing to (and you didn't get mad at me that time when I crapped my pink Michael Jackson zipper pants. You just called my Mom and told me I would be OK)
Mrs. Walker (4th grade) - I love Egyptology and will one day visit the country because of you and I LOVED when we would create nick-knacks out of clay and then have it baked and shined up real pretty so we could give it to our parents.  I loved singing in your choir.
Mr. Wrase (6th grade + Volleyball, Basketball, and Softball Coach for all of Middle School) - I will never forget you standing on the blacktop with your stopwatch as we all ran 14 1/2 times around it for the mile during P.E. class. I hated doing it back then but because of you I know that whatever I start in life also needs to be finished too.  You taught me to never quit...even when the win was out of reach, even when every fiber in my being is telling me to stop immediately.  Your advice and coaching has proved INVALUABLE time and time again...even now at 35 years old. I loved playing volleyball for you and we had one fantastic team!
Mr. Keisel (8th grade) - Thanks for always treating me with respect and introducing me to some pretty amazing literature in the short amount of time I spent as your student.  I also LOVED being the Red Queen in the 8th Grade stage Smash Hit production of Alice In Wonderland.  They still haven't sent me my SAG card yet ;)
Mrs. Marsh (9th grade English teacher) - Top 3 Teachers of All time - You single-handedly inspired me to write. Because of you I consider myself a writer.  Granted, I have yet to be paid for anything that I have written...but I have a group of friends that think I have some talent there. (and I did win that $500 scholarship on a World Peace essay I wrote) That's all you Mrs. Marsh...all you!
Mr. Florio (Browardettes Coach for 3 years in high school) - Top 3 Teachers of All time - You cultivated my love of dance and all things that require fearlessness.  I blossomed under your direction.  A fluffy Freshman was transformed into a FIERCE and FABULOUS Junior right before your very eyes. I believed in my greatness because you did first. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.


I have had a small glimpse into this thankless, heart-breaking, difficult and most importantly rewarding profession thanks to the last nine years my sister has been teaching elementary school and I realize that the best teachers are called to teach.  There are more politics in the public school system than there are in D.C.  I am so proud of my sister and she is my unofficial 'Favorite Teacher of All-Time' as a result. Jenn; I have met many of your classes and I can safely say that you have them all safely wrapped around your little finger.  You are amazing with your kids and you are inspiring them to greatness. I love you girl!


To all the teachers out there now doing the good work you do so well...THANK YOU! A thousand thanks.  
The saying should go "Those who can make a difference in the world of a child teach."

35 Things to Celebrate

This is like no other birthday I have had before for a few reasons. Firstly and pretty obviously...I've never been 35 before. So there's that...but more importantly, since the accident I have a brand new appreciation for pretty much every single tiny little thing in life.

So in no particular order, I would like to celebrate that...

1. Jesus loves me this I know...(sing along if you know the song)

2. I am alive today to have the opportunity to celebrate 35 years of LIVING.

3. I have an amazing family who I am madly in love with (and the feeling is mutual).

4. I am half a home owner! Go Jenn with the other 50%!!

5. It's quite alright to wear my heart on my sleeve and have it trampled every time, because it always heals back stronger in the broken spots.

6. I am gainfully employed by the SUPER-est of companies.

7. I have a best friend, a baby sister, a house-mate, and a soul-mate in Jennifer Brooke Lesinski.

8. I have an awesome and Godly mother who always gives me good advice.

9. I have a wonderful, loving, and completely hilarious Godly father who is my biggest fan in life.

10. I was introduced to, fell in love with, and live the Crossfit life!

(Open mouth and drink the Kool Aid. I can't quit you)

11. It's OK to drive the speed limit and let everyone else pass me (Seriously, where is the fire?)

12. Navy blue padded white plastic neck braces are pretty rad (or at least that is what I tell myself right after I put mine on)

13. We own all the furniture in our house as of March 16, 2012.

14. I live in South Florida within 20 minutes drive of the Atlantic Ocean...the closest thing to paradise (not on earth) but at least in the 48 contiguous states.

15. I bake a mean banana bread. Ask somebody.

16. I get to ride in my sister's new car (*once she buys it) and take FREE advantage of her new car smell.

17. I am able to find the humor in most things and enjoy trying to help others see said light.

18. I am not afraid to laugh at myself.

19. I have failed brilliantly and often, but I have managed to give it one more try after each fail.

20. My friends are AWESOME and I LOVE THEM. Every single one of them.

21. Two words: Crossfit ATP (#10-Crossfit is one thing but this is THE gym and these are THE people who are in a completely different stratosphere of awesomeness...)

22. I am the only person who needs to believe that I am a good singer...(but I know you think so too, you're just holding back ;-)

23. My dad fixed his broken computer all by himself...without my help! Go Team Lesinski!!!

24. Ryan Fitzpatrick + Mario Williams = 2013 Super Bowl Champions Buffalo Bills!!!

25. I am elated that I bought the insurance for my cell phone.

26. I have the GREATEST car insurance company in the world...Foremost

27. The range of motion in my neck is slowly coming back a little bit every day (Praise God!!)

28. I only have 23 more days to wait for my Neuro follow-up (not that I'm counting) Patience. Patience.

29. I don't feel a day over 25 and I am having more fun celebrating 35 than I did 25...beat that 20's!

30. We still get to celebrate Mom's birthday appropriately...bring on Ruth's Chris!!

31. I get to share this special day with my Jamaican sister from another mister, Marjorie...Happy Birthday Beautiful!

32. I'm forgiven. (and when I tell you I mess up...I mess up)

33. I live in the most beautiful FREE country on the planet. (Yes, I'm partial)

34. You are reading my blog!

35. God has something REALLY BIG planned for my life and I can't wait to see it unfold before my very eyes.

Happy Birthday to me...

Yes.

Happy Birthday to me.

ALIVE AND getting WELL

I realized last Sunday just how traumatically life altering a car accident can be, and how a SINGLE INSTANT in time can absolutely unravel you to a degree that you have a completely shifted perspective as a result.

Let me start by saying that above all else I am grateful.

Deep breath. My sister and I were taking our Mom out for her (number number) birthday dinner at the Fort Lauderdale Ruth's Chris (the collective all time favorite restaurant of the trio) so we picked her up at 5:30pm (old people time) at her place. By the time we got to University Dr. on 5-95 we were doing exactly 65 mph in the left lane. Why/how do we know this??? Because Jenn made it a point to check the speedometer when the SUV that caused the accident came up very quickly behind her. He was almost riding Jenn's back bumper for a few seconds right before he cut out from behind her to the right (in front of another car) and then immediately back in front of her to his left. Jenn pushed on the brakes (2007 4-dr Accord) so as not to rear end him and then the rest gets kinda gray for me. We fishtailed, 360'ed once or twice and hit the left retaining wall (airbags deployed) and then the car spun back the other way across ALL LANES OF TRAFFIC (never hitting another car...Praise God) to hit the right retaining wall another 2-3 times. Witnesses tried to get the guy's plate but we may and will most likely never know who caused this accident. Jenn's car is completely totaled. Mom has 5 acutely (that's the bad kind) fractured ribs. Jenn has a nasty airbag burn on her left forearm and a broken right ring fingertip & lots of bumps and bruises. I sustained a concussion (missing about 3 hrs of memory following the accident...scary), lost consciousness, 7 staples in my head, 2 black eyes (which are just about healed), numbness in my face and teeth, and a fractured C2 vertebrae (in a full on blue neck brace for at least 6 weeks). Gratefully and thankfully we ALL walked away. Granted I was initially rolled away from the scene, but I walked into the front door of my home later that same night.

This has been a tricky puzzle to try to piece together over this last week and the most difficult pieces for me are the emotional and spiritual ones. Just thinking about the weight of ALL of it. The accident, my sister, my mom, my dad, our family, my health, my life, my present state in life, what the future holds. To come so close to being just a memory, and essentially escaping death has made me do a complete and 100% personal inventory. We are talking BIG PICTURE stuff here people. I'm still sorting it all out (as we all are) in my head but there is one thing I know for certain. We were protected by mighty warrior guardian angels and the hand of God. I was spared. I am certainly loved.
I can assure you of this...my sunny disposition just got WAY sunnier, because I am happy to be alive.
If I love you, I mean really love you...and you haven't heard the 'accident speech' from me yet...get ready to feel the love, because I am happy to be alive.
I will continue to make ZERO apologies for being crazy, ditsy, lovely me, because I am happy to be alive.
I will say what's on my mind and I will tell you I love you even if it makes you a little uncomfortable, because I am happy to be alive.
I will hug you for just one second too long, because I am happy to be alive.
Life is short and it can be over before you get to tell that person how you really feel about them. So, get on the phone and call them and tell them...go on. I will be calling you soon to talk, because I am happy to be alive.

Now I will get back to the business of total and complete healing. I am predicting the 'Greatest Comeback in L.H.L. History'. First order of business is to relax and be still for the next 40 days. Yes, I am counting them, because the thought of sitting still that long and not Crossfitting will be tough so I HAVE to have something to look forward to. I am looking forward to a good report on April 19th. I am looking forward to our next hug.

I am looking forward to a hope filled blessed future, because I am happy to be alive.

Dear Mama...

Kerry Lesinski...aka Mommers,

I want to take this opportunity to thank you for every single thing you have ever given me and done for me in my life. Thanks for leaving New Jersey (no, really ...THANK YOU!!) and moving to sunny South Florida. Thanks for picking Dad, getting together and then promptly settling down on Fillmore, then Madison Street. Thank you for raising me in strength and Faith (Psalm 103). You have always walked through your life with your head held high, even in the midst of some of the darkest days. What an example you have set for me...

Thank you for living what it means to be a woman of integrity, beauty, and love. Thank you for all the lessons you have taught me in my life (the older I get, the more I realize just how right you always were and STILL ARE!). I have been blessed with a heart (Hart;) like yours. You love easily and completely. You always give the benefit of the doubt and never doubt the benefit (I just made that up!). You are my safe shelter in the storms of life. I always know where home is.

You are home.

Now, in no particular order I would like to:

Thank you for teaching me how to do the laundry really well so that the freshness lasts for days.

Thank you for trusting me with Nana's glass bread baking dishes (I think this is why my banana bread is so loved!).

Thank you for teaching me never to take the milk (or ketchup, or bag of shredded cheese, or carton of eggs) at the very front of the supermarket shelf and to always inspect the 'Sell By' dates on my food.

Thank you for teaching me how to properly apply eyeshadow and which undergarments suit each outfit appropriately.

Thank you for being my biggest fan and cheerleader.

"Come over here and let me see you for a minute." I think that is your favorite thing to say to me.

Thank you for laughing at all my jokes.

Thank you for always seeing the real me and encouraging me in all my personal goals.

I am so unbelievably blessed to have you as my Mother. One day I will be a mother (God willing and God help me) and I pray that I can be even only just half the mom you are to me.

I am me because you are you.

I love you and I thank you.

Happy Birthday

35 days to Thirty-Fabulous

I didn't give too much thought to getting older when I was younger. I was never the kind of person who thought the impending birthday was almost as bad as the end of the world. I don't think about it too much more now as I prepare for my next milestone on March 27th. (P.S. I have NEVER felt BETTER in my LIFE!) I have always looked forward to celebrating my birthday each year and 2012 is no exception. This time around I was thinking about how I could best prepare for this momentous occasion. I mean, c'mon folks, it's a SPEED LIMIT birthday after all...so I'm going to make a little bit of a big deal about it...

Enter the newest sugar detox. Start date 2/21/12

For the last 35 days leading up to the big three five, I have decided to cut out all of the sugar that has crept back into my diet since the holidays. ((I CAN'T QUIT YOU!!)) Something must be done about my abusive love affair with sugar...I think it's time for an intervention. What a tumultuous ride it has been. To that end, I need to stop eating it again. Like ALL of it!
I will commit to working out in some way shape or form 4 times a week (Crossfit, kettle bells, paddle boarding) as well. It's out there now, so I'm accountable.

It's the perfect distraction. Keep you posted.

On my mark, get set...turn Thirty-Fabulous

A Valentine for the Valentine-less

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

I did it! I finally decided on my Valentine for tomorrow and boy is she something else! She is an amazing, beautiful, kind, charming, funny and loving (I could keep going here, but you get the idea) woman.

Me!!!

Yes folks, I am my own Valentine for 2012! It's just me, myself, and I (remember that De La Soul tune?) I have known me (heart, soul and mind) for almost 35 years now (even though I don't look a day over 24, I know...lol) and who else would I rather be hanging out with on the day we collectively celebrate ALL things LOVE (I could answer that question but then I would have to kill you) besides me?! The longest lasting, best relationship I have ever had and the only one that will see me from the beginning to the end is the one I have with myself (same goes for you). The person who loves me the most. The only person who ever truly had my back 100% of the time. The person who believes in me even more than my Mom and Dad and knows that God has a special plan for my life. Seriously, if I am not my own biggest fan then how could I ever hope to attract other fans to join my team...??? Be your own biggest fan right now! I am so many things to so many people...A daughter, a sister, a niece, a cousin, a Crossfitter, an employee, a coworker, a friend. Someday, maybe also someone's wife and someone else's mother. God ONLY knows...
Our culture has done such an amazing and complete job of making us all believe that SOMETHING must be missing in our life if we are single and no holiday highlights this crap talk quite as much as V-Day does. All I have to do is have a conversation with someone who is single (or get to thinking about it for too long myself). You would think it was the end of the world or something. Well, I am here to tell you that it's not. It's not even close. Tomorrow will come and go just like any other Tuesday and you (and I) may have to deal with the fact that Deborah in Accounting got 2 dozen long stem red roses from her 'AMAZING boyfriend Johnny!!' but don't let it take away from how fabulous you are..and even this too shall pass. Just because you may not get your own bouquet doesn't mean that you are not FULLY LOVED (and AWESOME) and frankly, it's really insignificant in the grand scheme of things. You, yes YOU, are amazing and great and perfectly whole even without a man (or a woman) in your life. I hope that you know this already and that you totally believe it to be true too...Believe the hype. Own it. Then live it!

I have often wanted to put all this out there and I have always held back until now, perhaps for fear of being judged or sounding ______ (whatever word comes to your mind right now). Well folks, welcome to the decade of 30-something... where I have found my voice and now just start saying "Screw it! This is me. Take it or leave it!"...so listen to my wisdom (or lack thereof) if you like where this is going.
I have pretty much been single for most of my adult life, save one 18-month relationship in my early 20's so I like to think I know a thing or two about a thing or two. For me, singleness can be incredibly lonely at times (Omigosh can I get brutally honest here!?) and I think I see what is greener grass in other people's pastures. Let me always be mindful that they still have to mow their lawns just like me. It sometimes can be a sucker punch to the old ticker, especially when all I keep hearing is how wonderful I am by everyone who loves me. I start asking myself these questions like "What's wrong with me?" and "What am I not doing right?"
Newsflash people - I realize more and more every day that I don't have to DO anything and there is nothing wrong with me. Timing is everything in life and it's not for me or you to figure out. Just be OK with living your life to it's fullest today and every day.

It's all about focus. What are you focused on? The fact that you're single and may still be alone when tomorrow comes? Well, then your Valentine's Day is gonna suck. There are literally millions of things that are worse than being alone on February 14th, so wipe that sulky look off your face and get on the good foot with me for the day.
I am focused on the fact that I have loving and living parents who ADORE me and would lay down their lives for me. I have a sister who is my soul mate, who can feel my pain without me ever having to even say anything to her, who feels my joy and shares in the pride of my accomplishments by my side. Every single one. I am focused on the love of my friends, who build me up in confidence EVERY SINGLE TIME I am down. I will focus mostly on the LOVE that God has for me...who loves me more? Not even me. Who sees me stumble only to hold out a hand until I ask for help? Not even me. Who knows the desires of my heart and the dreams of my mind better? Not even me. So I think I will rest my mind and leave the tough stuff up to Him and I'll go about the more exciting business of living my life to the fullest. It does, after all, have an expiration date.

Even though I am celebrating tomorrow sans man (the tingle-in-the-dingle kind of love), I am celebrating all the other kinds of L.O.V.E. with my favorite person...me. If you are single, and loathing the idea that you have to trudge through the over-commercialized, chocolate hearts, Mylar balloons and really bad jewelry ads that is Valentine's Day, loathe no more!! Get to the business of reminding yourself how incredibly great you are. Here's an idea. Do something nice for yourself tomorrow. Take yourself out to lunch. Get a pedicure. Go to the gym and have a really good workout. Walk on the beach. Order in some take-out for dinner and watch the Heat beat the Pacers at 7:00pm. Thank yourself for being your Valentine...it's quite alright. I suspect that not everyone who DOES have one is thrilled about theirs. (but hopefully everyone is)
And call your Mother...she misses you and loves you!
Don't settle for anything less than the best.

Three things endure through everything...faith, hope and love. And the GREATEST of these things is LOVE.

Do you feel the love??? Because I certainly do.

The Wall

Yesterday was one of the coolest days of my life. So far. I'm not even 35 just yet and these are the kind of Saturdays I'm having??? Lord have mercy! On my quest to make 2012 even better than 2011, I thought it would be a good idea to do some things I have never done before, so I decided to sign up for a female only Crossfit competition. Ah, excuse me, what was I thinking? I think I was crazy because this stuff is no joke. As the day approached I started to get incredibly nervous and by Wednesday a sore throat was coming on. (it's a full blown crusty cold complete with no voice today, Happy Sunday!) Fast forward to yesterday morning...I wake up, excuse me...my stomach wakes me up at 6am (30 min before the alarm). I lie in bed, then shower, get dressed in a fog, get coffee, and get to the event. The 2nd Annual Heraean Games at the Seminole Casino in Hollywood. Incredibly organized and intimidating from the get-go. And then I saw them...the WALLS.
8 feet to get over.
Oh the parallels and metaphors to draw from this moment...I immediately looked at it and thought, 'Nope, it's not your day to climb a wall Lauren.' Then I thought, 'You have no choice.' I tried it a handful of times before the competition and did not get over it. I even ran eight (significant # here) of my knuckles into the wall on one attempt because I misjudged my footing...dummy. Then I stopped trying and focused on jumping rope until it was time to for my first workout.
WOD#1 - 15 min. cap - 50 double unders, 40 calorie row, 30 box jumps, 20 dead lifts (135lbs), 10 power snatches (55lbs), 10 push ups release, and BOMP BOMP BOMP...the 8 FOOT WALL, sled pull to finish the heat! I just wanted to go already. My Mom and Dad were both there, my Coaches Juan and Stephanie were there, my friends April and Nicole were both competing with me side by side the whole way (until they passed me:) and my friend Teresa was there (kids and all!) along with a bunch of people from our gym. And then the countdown began.
3-2-1...GO!
I just went. 50, 40, 30, 20, 10, 10 and then...BOMP, BOMP, BOMP...the WALL!
Attempt #1 - fail (no biggie, I'm exhausted right now, take a deep breath and try again)
Attempt #2 - fail (I don't think I'm getting over this wall)
Attempt #3 - fail (Just keep trying until they call time and make it look good at the very least)
And then it happened. I grabbed the top of the wall and I pulled myself up, and then I just kept pulling and I was finally able to get my right heel over the top of it and I was able to pull myself over it!! I couldn't believe it. I did it! I was so elated I almost started to cry. I basically started to cry until I realized I still had to pull the sled backwards to the end of the finish line.
My time was 14:27 and after 3 workouts I placed 8th out of a field of 18 women. That is better than 50% of the competition! I just couldn't believe I actually made it over that seemingly insurmountable wall. I really wasn't sure if I was going to make it over it when they yelled go, I just knew I couldn't give up trying to get over it. That's really how life is isn't it? It is full of eight foot walls that we can either decide to climb, or at least attempt to climb, or we can walk away saying to ourselves, 'I can't do it so why do I even try?' and give up on them. The key to getting over them is all HEART (thanks Juan). If you got it then you'll get over them. Then you stand on the other side realizing you had the strength all along to get over that wall.
I sit here now on Sunday night still amazed at the entire thing, the whole day...everything. I did something I have never done before in front of a crowd of a couple hundred people and I loved every single minute of it! I even had a personal best of 125 lbs for my overhead squat. All in all it was an amazing experience and I am better for having done it. I will never forget those moments in that day that stood out. It's all about making the most out of every regular day while planning for additional fun stuff for specific future special days (like this for example). I really need a massage right now and I am utterly exhausted, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I did not let the fear of the unknown get the better of me this time.

I wonder what wall (literal or figurative) I will have to scale next?

Decisions, decisions...

Are you happy with all the choices you are making in your life? Are you happy with most of them, some of them...or even worse (say it ain't so) NONE of them? Take for instance whatever you are eating right now (if you are). Do you LOVE it! Do you even like it a little bit? If not, then put it down and eat something you LOVE! (My personal suggestion is to stay away from Girl Scout cookies because most people, including yours truly, can't eat just one...and don't get me started on the fact that you get 2 sleeves of sugary minty chocolaty goodness in each Thin Mints box!)
I spent lots of time feeling sorry for myself because I wasn't living the life that I wanted to be living...the life I knew I always had the potential to live, the life I am living today. I am never going to get those years back. I had to MAKE THE DECISION to change my life. Then I did it and I changed it. I mean, who would have ever thought that life could be this great!! It IS possible to be fully lived. Granted, from every sky a little rain must fall and it's not ALL roses, but all in all it's aces baby. Everyone has a choice about every single thing in their life. Every. Single. Thing. Obviously there are things that are out of our control but I'm talking big picture here. What have you ALWAYS wanted to do??? You should totally take that trip that you have always wanted to take...now...before you have a kid. Oh what, you have kids? You should finally take that trip you have always wanted to take and bring the kids with you so they get to have the same memory FOREVER...with you. You should finally tell that person that you love them. What if they don't make it to tomorrow? You can call them right now and say what you need to say. Don't waste another second! You are CAPABLE of getting into those jeans again...just decide that you are going to do whatever it takes, take the cookie out of your mouth, and take a walk. Start with the first step (corny, yes...but also true) and take it from there. You should go out on a limb and finally paint that friggin' bathroom. I mean you walk in there every day and sit down/stand up and hate it more with each new time you have to look at it. You can get out of debt. You should go back to school. You should just do it already!!! Whatever it is that you want to do. Like Nike put it so eloquently...Just Do It! We get one ride on this roller coaster. Why not make the most out of every single day, while planning for additional fun stuff in the future? Life is TOO SHORT to make the wrong choices, or the choices that are not the best ones to make. If your choices include not using your blinker when driving on I-95 or Super Sizing it...those would be categorized as bad choices. Now get out and run that trail, pay those bills, and live your one and only life to the FULLEST!

How Seltzer Water changed my life...

Let's be honest, a girl doesn't get to a beefy 230 lbs. by drinking Diet Soda. Thankfully, I can't stand the aftertaste and sugary coating of regular sodas, so I won't blame that either. It had everything to do with what the Diet Coke was washing down that was most likely the culprit. However, one can take away lots of wonderful treasures from the bubbles that occupy each can...

The last diet soda I drank was on July 4, 2011 (Happy Birthday Motherland!) and when the last tepid backwashy gulp went down (isn't the last sip of every can of soda the same?! G.R.O.S.S.) I wasn't sure if it really would be my last soda. By that point in my 'transformative journey' (sounds soooo New Age and for that I apologize) I was looking to drop just a few more pounds and going 'Sugar Free' was my next experiment. Since cutting all the sugar (except whole fruit) out didn't seem like punishment enough (yes, I am a sugar addict and even if I don't eat sugar I am still addicted to it!) I decided to cut out the diet sodas too. Enter the Syfo difference! Syfo is a brand of seltzer water (0 calories, 0 Sodium, nothing I can't pronounce) that my Mom swears by. "It's got the most bubbles honey. It's the sparkliest. Trust me, I've tried them all." Thanks Mom. Done.

Can I just tell you that drinking bubbly water is EVEN BETTER than diet soda. Seriously. And they have flavors!! LaCroix Grapefruit is AMAZEBALLS and those come in cans (just like my Diet Dr. Pepper used to come!) so you can take them with you!!! See, not so bad...?!

I know that this time around the Crazy-Go-Round of weight loss my mindset has been different. I am doing this ALL for ME. Not a broken relationship, not the approval of my parents, sister, or friends, or...wait for it, some stupid guy who can't even see past his own ____. Because it's all for me, it's easier to make the next right decision. I take each day as it comes...and each day comes with at least 1-2 bottles of Syfo seltzer water now. It's like a treat for me when I get home from work each night. I get to upgrade from flat bottled room temperature water to bottled sparkling water with ICE CUBES...woo hoo! (Oh the things that get me going!) If I am feeling really mischievous, I will squeeze some lime in it. And when I am feeling downright naughty, I throw in a healthy shot (or 2) of vodka. I don't drink all the time, but a vodka soda with lime is about as healthy as you can get for alcohol. It also tastes really good, so watch it.

Getting healthy is about small changes that over time turn into a new healthier lifestyle. If I did all of it at one time, I would not be here, in this new package, with this new outlook. I would have given up. I would have convinced myself that it was A) too hard and I am B) not worth it.

Friend, YOU are MOST WORTHY of ALL of the BEST things life has to offer...If you ever want to grab a glass of the bubbles and talk about it...

2012 - The Game Changer

2011 was the year that changed my life...in 2011 and for 2011. It does not stop there. I have not 'arrived' by any stretch of the imagination. 2012 is going to change my life in brand new ways. I learned a great deal about myself (and others) last year. I was able to inspire a few other people along the way (my sister starts Crossfit in exactly 14 days, not that I am counting.) I wrote down my goals, set up a plan, and then went about meeting the goals.

2012 is the GAME-CHANGER.

It's all about CONTINUED and NEW SUCCESS. I will strive every day to surpass my old goals, running them over on my way to the next mountaintop. I want to be a champion every day. Go out and give it my best effort.
I want EVERY SINGLE DAY to be AMAZING, and I am the only person who controls that. Now, every day is not going to be AMAZING, but if I think long and hard enough I am sure to find one thing in each day that makes it amazing.
I will travel even more. To here, to there, to everywhere. The sky is the limit...to all the faraway places that I dream of going to. Life is what I make of it...
I will WRITE MORE (see?! it's already happening) and not be afraid to say what I REALLY want to say...like truthfully how you make me feel!
I will LOVE more and expect even less from others. I refuse to stop being exactly who I am; a little flaky, full of optimism, smiling through the good times and the bad times with my heart on my sleeve. I must try a little harder to protect my heart from all the cracks and breaking, but I refuse to hold back. I will continue to jump into every day feet first and with my eyes closed, hoping for the best.
I will be more purposeful with my love. I want to tell you what you mean to me TODAY, because tomorrow is not promised to anyone. I saw some funeral coverage for the 3 little girls (sisters, one 10 and 7-yr old twins) in N.Y. who died (along with their grandparents) in a house fire on Christmas Day and I just wept for their parents, and their family, and everyone who survived the fire. The sorrow of these complete strangers hit me so very hard. I had to immediately ask my sister for a hug and I tell her how much I LOVE HER. You just never know when you might be saying something to someone for the last time. What do you want to remember about that last conversation...a fight, a snippy remark, an argument? No thanks, I'll pass. I want you to remember how much you were loved by me. I want to GIVE and GET some LOVE. Some GOOD love. All LOVE. All the time. So with that I will say that if you have read all the way to this sentence...I SO LOVE YOU FOR THAT! (smile)
Love conquers ALL things!!! (That's some Bible truth for you!)
The moral of the story is this...I CHOOSE to change the game in 2012. Every day is only as good as I make it. No one can take my attitude away from me. Let it always be positive and encouraging and loving. I hope that when I look back on this in a year that I will be satisfied.

2011 - Lauren's (Lala's) Year in Review

I love the end of the year. I get really excited about the new one coming (wherever will I vacation to THIS year?, what kind of calendar is going to hang in my office...islands or sunsets?, what are my new goals going to be?) and I also try to reflect on the one that is soon going away for good. I live for any kind of 'Year in Review' musical montage showing all the memorable events that happened in the year (thanks Today Show and Charlie Sheen). So I got to thinking about all the AMAZING things that have happened to me this year, and this has definitely been one for the books. It never ceases to amaze me how unbelievably blessed I am and I know that every good thing I ever had or did or said came from God...
This was my 2011, in no particular order.

1. Bought half a town house (my sister bought the other half)


2. Vacationed in Mexico, Bahamas, Curacao and Jamaica (and traveled for business to Jamaica and NJ)


3. Realized my life long dream of shopping in the size MEDIUM after losing 30 lbs (Bonus - Jenn's clothes fit me)


4. Won my Crossfit gym's Body contest and a free 1-year membership (a $1200 value) and most importantly...bragging rights ;)


5. Was featured in the WORLDWIDE publication of the Crossfit Journal for my personal fitness transformation.


6. Made amazing reunions with awesome people from my past and realized that it's 100% better the second time around!


7. Performed as a back-up dancer for Delfrida to help raise money and toys for underprivileged kids.


8. Fell in love...with me...for the first time ever. True unconditional love. (It feels like forever and I hope the honeymoon never ends.) I got my mojo back and there ain't nothin' you can do about it!


9. I saw Pitbull in concert! (This is newsworthy for me and I make ZERO apologies for it)


10. I saw the Heat beat the Celtics at HOME!

Suffice it to say I had a good one. Yes, there are some things that didn't make that list but that's OK, because now I have something to look forward to next year. May 2012 be even more abundant in blessings and love and friends and family and positivity and endurance and strength and faith and hope and prosperity...but most importantly in LOVE.

God Bless YOU!

The NEW and IMPROVED Lauren...

I always knew that I had the potential to be the person who I am today (the "AFTER" version of Lauren). I have always believed that I was destined for some kind of great personal achievement...even as a kid growing up. I know this based on my ever burning desire (albeit quite faintly at times) to be #1 at mostly everything I attempt...spotlight please. I embarrassingly admit that I am not the best loser either. I don't even like losing baking contests at work...which, by the way, is what helped get me in this mess to begin with.
Rewind to March of 2008...my personal bottom (which is ironically my personal peak on the scale at 230lbs.) just days before my 31st birthday. I would file that time (and months leading up to my 'Aha Moment') under Lessons Learned /Things I Hope I Never Forget. I was hanging on to the last of my unraveling rope by my pinky finger. I was drowning in self pity. My lifestyle and food choices were harmful and I felt myself starting to slip away from any vague remembrance of the vibrant, happy and generally all-around awesome woman I used to be. It really scared me too because I thought I had already unsuccessfully tried everything and I was strongly considering not getting up just one more time to try to be better once more. Screw that defeatist negativity!! I care more about me than I don't (make sense?). I did A LOT of soul searching. I raised my hand and said I had a problem and that I needed help because I was too weak to fly my Crazy Plane solo. I sit here now and think back to those days when I was looking forward blindly into this deep unknown called my future not knowing what it would bring (which has been the most amazing 'present' to unwrap). I started to stoke the fires in my belly to be well and have a normal (well at least not psychotic) relationship with food. I didn't exactly know how I would get there, or when, but I knew I would eventually arrive there...which is actually right here. I knew that where I was at that time was the last place I wanted to be and the only person in my life that was going to change me was ME. I stopped feeling sorry for myself, picked up my black and blue bloated and overinflated ego, talked to people with PERSPECTIVE, put down the fork, put on my sneakers and went about the business of personal and total 'Me world' domination...
This has been 3 1/2 years of blood, sweat, and tears in the making. 1, 2, 3, and a half...years. There was no 'Quick Fix' this time around. I had previously lost 50 (in high school), then 6o (after a break-up) pounds on separate occasions and fairly quickly each time and MOST importantly for all the WRONG reasons. This time around was different. There was nothing to distract me from myself and I was able to be completely selfish during the process. I started by slowly changing the way I thought about food (Biggest epiphany to date!!) and then I started changing my actions towards food and got my enormous behind back to the gym. I knew in my heart of hearts that I had at least 55 lbs to lose and having to do it AGAIN weighed heavily on me many times (pun intended). This was NOT about all-or-nothing, it was about making the next right choice. I persevered over the next year and a half and was able to get down to about 196 lbs. when I was introduced to one of the missing pieces of the 'New and Improved' Lauren puzzle...Crossfit ATP.
David, a guy from the gym I was working out at (love Memorial Hospital gym...big ups!) saw the little circuit training routines I had put together for myself (this girl loves a jump rope) and asked me if I had ever heard of ATP. He said they were doing some new things over there and they had small classes for $15 that I could go and check out and decide if I wanted to learn more about it. Plus they were working with kettlebells (???), which I heard little to zero about up to that point so I was naturally VERY INTRIGUED (because I thought I already knew everything!). I called the gym later that same day and made an appointment. I met Juan and staff in October of 2009 and my life would never be the same. I was excited immediately because these people were magnetic and I wanted the light I saw in them to radiate from me too! I even paid for personal kettlebell instruction so that I would be up-to-speed and not excluded from movements and classes that Juan required a certain level of instruction in order to participate in (Genius!!! because you have no idea how wrong you do many movements until you are properly educated on form, breathing, mobility, etc.). At the time there was just a small corner of the gym that was dedicated to this new kind of training. Then I started to hear this word 'Crossfit' getting thrown around (never heard of it before) and I started getting even MORE interested. I continued to train at ATP when the fundage would allow and then I heard the best news EVER...Juan is making the gym 100% Crossfit dedicated. At that point I knew I had reached the point of no return and I decided to leave my old gym and really put all my eggs into the Crossfit ATP basket. It was one of the best decisions of my health and life. Where do I sign? Yes, people...the first customer. Customer #001 as of 1/1/10. I wanted to make that mean something to me.
The thing I love about Crossfit ATP (and there is infinite awesomeness to list) is that even walking through the doors at almost 200lbs I never felt judged, or pitied, or neglected. I had already begun the inside transformation and all I felt was true encouragement and love from the start from every single person. People here are so genuine in their everything...gosh it leaves me at a loss for words, but just for a moment.
Fast forward to June of 2011. By this time I had gotten my weight down to about 186lbs (44 gone to date), namely because I was doing the food thing half-assed. I would work out incredibly hard and just kill it and then go home and eat kinda crappy and the scale wouldn't budge, but I was comfortable for a time there. Then that "winner" fire in my belly flared up again (no, it wasn't indigestion) and I wanted even MORE for myself. I started thinking about how to get to the 'BEST VERSION OF MYSELF'. On July 5, 2011 I went Sugar Free for 30 days (Biggest diet epiphany to date). That self-imposed challenge proved to be incredibly difficult (I was sadly and honestly addicted to sugar) and equally rewarding because I lost 13 pounds and gained incredible amounts of energy and firmness (BONUS: I ended up giving up Diet soda too). That put me very happily at 173 (57 lbs. down), wearing size 10 - 12 pants and LOVING LIFE in a very new and lovely way! Then Juan decides to throw a Body Challenge Contest open to anyone in the gym and the winner receives a FREE 1-YEAR MEMBERSHIP!!! That was all I needed to send me into a tailspin of hunger for my name to be preceded by the word Champion. I put in ALL the hard work, ran my house, kicked my ass, won the contest and realized a new personal best...159lbs (71 lbs!!)! I haven’t seen the 150‘s since 1998 or so. This last month has brought an additional loss of 4 lbs and I am now 155 pounds of pure hot heat! Seventy five pounds gone, but not forgotten. 75. God, may I never forget where I started. May I always appreciate the gift I have been given and may I inspire you to be the best version of YOU that you can be. It's all still very new and takes a bit of getting used to. Sometimes just catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror surprises me because it is almost a stranger that is looking back at me (or I think to myself, "What is my sister doing here?"). I can say this though…I have never believed in myself more, sat up straighter, stood up taller, smiled bigger, laughed louder, or hugged harder. I have NEVER felt sexier, stronger, or more beautiful than I do right this very minute. I’m smiling!!! I have every single person at ATP to thank for my new and improved ego, may I always remain humble. You ALL let me grow into this beautiful butterfly and you actually enjoy watching me be successful!!! There are ZERO haters here...just love. I look forward to each and every time that I get walk through the doors of this place. I have found a community of friends that love and support me in my personal goals. I have made life long friends as a result of the time I have spent here and I am truly thankful from the teeny tiny corners of my heart. I see so much success around me too. I see people coming into the gym getting leaner and stronger and more confident with each passing day. I see people changing their lives right before my very eyes and I LOVE IT!! I am only one single page in the book of Crossfit ATP that I hope is never finished being written, because I never want to get to the last page, because it is a story that deserves to keep being told forever and ever and ever. Amen. You changed me for the better and words will never be able to aptly express the monumental significance you are to me. I love you!

Your first member and BIGGEST (only figuratively now) fan,
Lauren Lesinski