The funniest thing that hasn't happened to me since the last funny thing

I am an occasional klutz. I guess it just goes with my irresistibly nerdy/bubbly/flaky personality. Every once in a while, when the mood hits me right, I fall down or run my shin into glass tables or even clip various equipment at the gym with my hips. What I am about to describe in glorious detail is an event that is easily the most idiotic stunt ending in self-inflicted physical pain I have ever attempted (unknowingly).
On nights I don't have school, Jennifer and I go for a nice 8-mile (skip corny Eminem joke) bike ride around the neighborhood. Last night was no different, except for one thing. As we were getting ready to exit the development we live in, there was a car at the stop sign. I decided to hop onto the sidewalk just in case the car didn't want to stop for me to go around it...
As a result of getting onto the sidewalk in my development, there is a patch of grass that I need to pass through to get to the 'major road sidewalk'. I normally avoid that because there is a pretty good sized hole SOMEWHERE in there...Oh yeah, you know where this is going now.
OK, so we are exactly 1 minute into this workout of 40 minutes and the sidewalk ends and I roll onto the grass. I see the hole just up in front of me and I turn the handlebars to avoid it. Little did I know that was NOT THE HOLE that I needed to avoid.
It all happened VERY FAST and the absolute BEST part is that the split second before it did happen, Jen (who was in front of me at the time) looked back to check on me and saw the whole painfully embarrassing episode unfold.
So my front tire hits the hole I didn't see and it was pretty deep because the bike completely STOPPED where it was. Bodies in motion (remember Physics 101) being what they are, mine did NOT stop. My entire person (all 5 feet 9 inches of me) flew over the left handlebars and into the air in a sideways airborne roll. When I hit the grass, I army rolled it one complete turn to land on my back. My eye-glasses stayed on and my ipod didn't stop playing. I laid there for a minute in complete and utter embarrassment and...frankly, shame. My sister is yelling (over the volume of her own ipod) "Are you OK...Lauren...Are you OK???" Yes, I was OK. It actually didn't hurt physically at all...my pride, however was another story completely.
The words dummy, idiot, stuntman, and stupid came flooding into my head all at once. I was really angry...so much so that once I finally did get up I cursed the hole. I pulled the dirt out of the handlebars and checked myself for open wounds and the tires for blowouts. I cut my finger but not enough to even make it really bleed. Then I started yelling at Jennifer to get going so we could finish the ride (another shame-induced side effect of the public bike crash). She asked several more times if I was OK and then she looked at me with 'that look' that asked if it was alright for her to start laughing now. I started laughing first and then she started in and then I had to calm myself down or I was going to lose my bladder. I asked her how the whole thing looked. She said it very graceful, but it looked like it hurt...like a stuntman. COOL. I laughed about it (and am still laughing as I recall it to you) several more times before we were finished with the ride.
It wasn't until I was in the shower and realized the extent of my Jack-Ass tomfoolery. Just below my right knee was a huge purple bump. It felt like a second knee and it hurt! So I iced the swelling down to half it's size and I'll just wear pants for the next week. My left shin didn't fare much better either. It basically looks like I was beaten about the lower limbs with a baseball bat. sexy.

I will tell you this though. It was FUNNY...FULARIOUS (hoping that one will catch on) and I only wish that it was caught on tape, because it was a truly magnificent example of an idiot move. I pulled a 'Lauren'...

Until next time...