The wonderful circus of online dating

What I am quickly learning is that online dating feels a lot like high school. The little jig I dance goes something like this. I express interest in someone and hear nothing. Someone expresses interest in me and they hear nothing. (Isn't it just better to be silent than try to let someone down easy? Perhaps it's only easier.) Fear of rejection is right there at the forefront. I look at you and you look at me and neither of us act on it. Sophomoric at best. I am giving this thing 3 months and that's it. At the rate I am going (just read on) the end cannot come soon enough.
On the rare occasion, he is interested in me and I am interested in him. Enter stage 2. The phone call. This shouldn't be too long or drawn out, (because either one of us could turn out to not be interested in the other after we see each other) just a quick hello to set up the first 'meeting'. If this happens to take place at somewhere like Starbucks, then it would not be classified as a date. Then we move onto stage 3. The meeting.
The meeting is simply to discover whether or not there are sparks and whether or not an actual date (stage 4 and almost impossible to reach as I am learning) is in order. Now, call me old fashioned...but if I am meeting you for coffee I expect a few (not many, mind you) things to happen. It is the all important 'first impression' right? I did my part. A cute pair of jeans, a little make-up, perfume. Not too much of anything, just enough, just a little.
On Tuesday night, I had one of these 'stage 3 meetings' with a guy at a Starbucks. Red Flag #1 - He rode his bike there. Red Flag #2 - I could see the sweat glistening/pouring all over him. Red Flag #3 - He smelled like a varsity high school basketball team at half-time. Nothing says "I feel special" like a guy who smells like a jock strap. Let me pause here and add that had stage 3 been a BIKE RIDE, I would have been in the right frame of mind to deal with his appearance. Well, being the eternal optimist that I am, I overlooked it and moved on the meeting. He didn't want any coffee, he had water. Oh...this should be fun. I ordered and paid for my coffee and we went outside to talk.
He's a decent, even a good looking guy. Tall, nice eyes, a full head of hair. As the conversation started, however, and then continued, I realized this one was not a 'keeper'. No sparks, no laughs, no stage 4 in our future. He spent half the time talking about why all the different cities in South Florida suck and then spent the other half of the time answering the questions he was asking me. Think about that for a second. I was born here...in Hollywood. Most of his trash talking was about Hollywood. Thanks dude...for not even trying. Things quickly wound down and he walked me to my car before he rode away into the night on his bicycle (I did learn he does drive a car). Another hug sans sweat and he went in for a kiss on the lips. I didn't even have time to react before the peck. All I could was chuckle a little bit...and then it happened. He finally laughed a tiny but audible laugh. I can't tell you how many attempts at humor were blocked by another question or went completely over his head. This guy has potential but not for me.
That pretty much sums it up. If for no other reason, this experience will be great to chronicle for posterity. I can't wait to see what the next one brings. This is gonna be fun.