I'm SEXY and I know it...do you?!

Have you ever realized just how sexy you really are?  Like REALLY KNOW that you are DROP DEAD SEXY?  Do you really believe it?  It took me many years to be able to say (and believe) "I'm sexy and I know it!"...as she typed with LMFAO's hit song of the same title playing on Pandora behind her.

I ' M

S E X Y

AND   I 

 KNOW IT

Merriam Webster defines sexy as "sexually suggestive or stimulating and generally attractive or interesting."  That underwhelming definition does not help much to convey today's message.  I personally prefer the synonyms listed for SEXY including 'bodacious, desirable, dishy, hot, luscious, and toothsome'.  Oh to be a luscious and toothsome woman and to be 'of palatable flavor and pleasing texture'!!!  
OK, so now that we're all warmed up, we can get down to business...

I can only speak from a SEXY woman's perspective.  Sexy begins with a state of mind.  You FULLY believe in your attractiveness and suddenly realize that you are wonderful exactly the way you are.  For me, that didn't happen until I was a little older (early 30's).  I finally realized that I am pretty amazing just because I'm me.  Once you get to that point, the rest should get a little easier.  
First off...stop comparing yourself to other women.  You are YOU!! You are beautiful and sexy just as you are.  You will never be (insert millionaire actress/singer/athlete here) so stop getting down on yourself that you aren't some other woman that you can't or won't ever be, because you are uniquely YOU.  

BE YOUR OWN KIND OF SEXY

Own your 'hot-ness' and never apologize for it.  Take compliments when people give them and NEVER DISMISS THEM! Walk into every single room you enter with a smile and look people in the eye, even at Publix.  You will shock most people, but who cares. You are TOO SEXY to be concerned about that.  Get a mani/pedi AND a massage. Buy something RED to wear.  Oh, the power of RED!  Buy something silky and beautiful to wear under your clothes and wear it on a plain old Tuesday to your desk job, you naughty girl.  You will be ready for Tuesday NIGHT by the time you get home...and your significant other will be pleased to find out they will be having YOU for dessert. Better yet...one up yourself and buy some ULTRA-SEXY and FUN temporary  ta-ta-toos® .  What fun!!! 
You don't call them fun bags for nothing...
Temporary ta-ta-toos®
For just a few dollars, you can say something naughty, or nice...or both.  Imagine the look on his/her face when you take your blouse off next Tuesday to reveal something like Let's Celebrate or Welcome Home.  Your significant other will think they forgot about their birthday and just hit the SEXY lottery all on the same plain old work day. And well, let's be honest.  They did.  I mean look at you!!! You are gorgeous girl! Beautiful!!
Most importantly...you are SEXY!!! 
Now get out there, SPICE it UP, and show me what SEXY looks like.  
Work it!! 
Own it!!

Just try and beat me...I dare you.

It's official.
I am ready.
Again.
To dominate.
All competition.

I'm not gonna lie...it has truly been a life full of decadence these last few months following what could have been my very last ride in a car.  Remember kids...Seat belts are in the back seat for a reason.  Don't believe me?  I've got the scars to prove it. Buckle up!  
Life changed forever & drastically on March 4, 2012, never to be the same again.  So much so (as near death experiences normally do) that all the itty bitty annoyances in life that used to bother me so much have all but melted away, forever banished to the "It really doesn't matter anyway" file.  Let me add here that driving on I-595 or being a passenger in anyone else's car is still a work in progress.  These days it's all about enjoying EVERY SINGLE DAY to the FULLEST.  Really LIVING life!! Spending time with and money on the people I love the most in life...starting with me (yes, it's OK for me to make me #1 in my life).  Family, friends, food, fiestas, and travel, travel, travel. I can't take any of this $$$ with me when I go so I might as well enjoy it while I'm here.  I'm already planning vacations for the remainder of the year....who wants to go back to Mexico with me?!?! Seriously...who's in?

The funniest thing about the accident and my never ending quest to be happy with my body is that I seemed to keep most of the weight OFF until I got back into the gym. (Yep, I'm just all giggles over it) Here I sit, typing, 3 months into my rehabilitation and I've gained weight!! 
Uh oh...This should not have happened because I have actually been getting stronger in the gym, making gains and progress in the areas I was so initially so weak. Don't get me wrong, I love exactly who I am right this very minute, I just know that it's time to do some NEW & IMPROVED work... 
I got a little weak in the fork/spoon/knife/sugar/alcohol department and I can accept that.  I know that to be able to say that out loud without wanting to kill myself with a dull butter knife is the step in the right direction thanks to my new perspective shift and I don't feel like it's the end of the world!!! Imagine that.  The world has not stopped spinning on it's axis because I put on a few lbs.  In fact, I am even MORE excited to be even better than I was this time last year.  I remember, do you?
I am saying ALL of this out loud simply for accountability.  I know that I am not perfect, but I am capable.  Success is within my reach.  Why can't I do this two times in a row?! (I couldn't think of a reason either) I have all the tools at my disposal. I will keep a journal this time around too.  I have an INCREDIBLE network of support and love in my team. 

Let me leave you with this...I hope you all enjoyed my brief stint as a more voluptuous woman.  I certainly did.  Gaining weight was easy AND fun...SO. MUCH. FUN.  Enjoy the curves while they last for I will be trading them in soon enough for some SUPER ripped abs and an ASS you can bounce a quarter off of and then crack some nuts with.  What?!  There is nothing unreasonable or out of line with that last sentence. That's all the motivation I need.  Well...that and the fact that I REFUSE to spend any more money on clothes that I will soon no longer need.  Today it's drawstring linen pants coupled with the hope I make it into my fave pair of painted on skinny jeans just in time for the Fall.

3...2...1...Dominate.

Thank you for being a friend...

It's quite humbling to come back from an injury and realize how weak your body has become.  It's also tough to rebuild your body after an illness.  Let me be completely honest, it's been a really nasty slap-across-the-face just trying to get back into shape after six Mimosa floated days in Mexico.  But, alas...here I am and today proved to be one of those days.  WOD #3 since vacation, 2nd time doing pull-ups since the accident.  I think I did Fran in 7:34 once Rx which is not too shabby if I do say so myself.  Tonight, Fran just laughed and laughed as the seconds ticked by because my body continued to fail everything I was willing it unsuccessfully to do from inside my brain.  I have always been slow and and more than happy to bring up the REAR on most occasions (holla!), however, today was not the day I expected to do it.  I realize that I have a long way to go to get back to where I was on March 3, 2012.  I have to start over in many respects and I am finally coming to terms with that.  I looked around the gym tonight as I was drifting in and out of clear consciousness during my 10+ minutes of hellish brutality (slight over embellishment) and saw so much support.  All I wanted to do was shout out loud to all my pull-up muscles, "Why have you betrayed me, you weak traitors?!" As the athletes started to finish their WOD, I continued to struggle through mine.  I could hear many different people cheering me on as I fought off the thought of quitting while thrusting 65 pounds up 21, then 15, then 9 times.  Oh..and the pull-ups...the HUMANITY!!!  I watched others struggle right along side of me as the Coaches prodded us all on ultimate victory.  
The victory is the finish (New T-shirt design?) 
I got to see the determination and drive of a man face-to-face tonight.  I could feel the struggle of every individual out there in the gym.  I want to take this opportunity to publicly thank each and every one of the beautiful people I had the pleasure to sweat with tonight.  Your HEART makes you so PRETTY, GORGEOUS, BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING I can't hardly stand it.  Your presence and encouragement are worth the price admission each and every time.  I love to cheer you on and I love to hear you scream my name too!  Seriously though...you meant so much to me tonight that I am telling you about it at 10:00pm.  

Hugs...and kisses?! 

Teacher Love

On this MOST IMPORTANT of occasions, Teacher Appreciation Week, I need to sow some seeds of teacher love with my most refined skill of blogging wordsmith-ery (and yes, I do make up words when the occasion calls for such).  I am educated and I have the diplomas to prove it.  I am very proud of accomplishing my own personal goal of graduating college, however, my love for school and learning was cultivated many years before I could even find the hypotenuse of a right triangle.  
It all started back in a little Lutheran school in Hollywood, FL when I was 3 years old.  
St. Mark's!!! Woo Hoo!!!  
Some of my fondest childhood memories (as well as some of the most difficult life lessons I learned) date back to the 11 years I spent there.  It was the dedication of the teachers and coaches at that school that prepared me to excel in high school, then college...and ultimately in life. 
I would like to now publicly thank the STAND-OUT teachers who helped to mold me into the fabulous and smart person I am today. (I'm humble too folks)
Mrs. Human (3K) - Thanks for the finger painting lessons and not judging me when I ate paste that one time.  That other kid made me do it.
Mrs. Zugar (4K) - Top 3 Teachers of All time - You were always kind and patient with me (and there were 15 other 4 year olds in the room at all times with me) and even 31 years later I can still feel your love for me.
Ms. Drumm (2nd grade) - Your love of Miss Piggy was awe-inspiring and I always loved when you would play records for us to sing to (and you didn't get mad at me that time when I crapped my pink Michael Jackson zipper pants. You just called my Mom and told me I would be OK)
Mrs. Walker (4th grade) - I love Egyptology and will one day visit the country because of you and I LOVED when we would create nick-knacks out of clay and then have it baked and shined up real pretty so we could give it to our parents.  I loved singing in your choir.
Mr. Wrase (6th grade + Volleyball, Basketball, and Softball Coach for all of Middle School) - I will never forget you standing on the blacktop with your stopwatch as we all ran 14 1/2 times around it for the mile during P.E. class. I hated doing it back then but because of you I know that whatever I start in life also needs to be finished too.  You taught me to never quit...even when the win was out of reach, even when every fiber in my being is telling me to stop immediately.  Your advice and coaching has proved INVALUABLE time and time again...even now at 35 years old. I loved playing volleyball for you and we had one fantastic team!
Mr. Keisel (8th grade) - Thanks for always treating me with respect and introducing me to some pretty amazing literature in the short amount of time I spent as your student.  I also LOVED being the Red Queen in the 8th Grade stage Smash Hit production of Alice In Wonderland.  They still haven't sent me my SAG card yet ;)
Mrs. Marsh (9th grade English teacher) - Top 3 Teachers of All time - You single-handedly inspired me to write. Because of you I consider myself a writer.  Granted, I have yet to be paid for anything that I have written...but I have a group of friends that think I have some talent there. (and I did win that $500 scholarship on a World Peace essay I wrote) That's all you Mrs. Marsh...all you!
Mr. Florio (Browardettes Coach for 3 years in high school) - Top 3 Teachers of All time - You cultivated my love of dance and all things that require fearlessness.  I blossomed under your direction.  A fluffy Freshman was transformed into a FIERCE and FABULOUS Junior right before your very eyes. I believed in my greatness because you did first. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.


I have had a small glimpse into this thankless, heart-breaking, difficult and most importantly rewarding profession thanks to the last nine years my sister has been teaching elementary school and I realize that the best teachers are called to teach.  There are more politics in the public school system than there are in D.C.  I am so proud of my sister and she is my unofficial 'Favorite Teacher of All-Time' as a result. Jenn; I have met many of your classes and I can safely say that you have them all safely wrapped around your little finger.  You are amazing with your kids and you are inspiring them to greatness. I love you girl!


To all the teachers out there now doing the good work you do so well...THANK YOU! A thousand thanks.  
The saying should go "Those who can make a difference in the world of a child teach."

35 Things to Celebrate

This is like no other birthday I have had before for a few reasons. Firstly and pretty obviously...I've never been 35 before. So there's that...but more importantly, since the accident I have a brand new appreciation for pretty much every single tiny little thing in life.

So in no particular order, I would like to celebrate that...

1. Jesus loves me this I know...(sing along if you know the song)

2. I am alive today to have the opportunity to celebrate 35 years of LIVING.

3. I have an amazing family who I am madly in love with (and the feeling is mutual).

4. I am half a home owner! Go Jenn with the other 50%!!

5. It's quite alright to wear my heart on my sleeve and have it trampled every time, because it always heals back stronger in the broken spots.

6. I am gainfully employed by the SUPER-est of companies.

7. I have a best friend, a baby sister, a house-mate, and a soul-mate in Jennifer Brooke Lesinski.

8. I have an awesome and Godly mother who always gives me good advice.

9. I have a wonderful, loving, and completely hilarious Godly father who is my biggest fan in life.

10. I was introduced to, fell in love with, and live the Crossfit life!

(Open mouth and drink the Kool Aid. I can't quit you)

11. It's OK to drive the speed limit and let everyone else pass me (Seriously, where is the fire?)

12. Navy blue padded white plastic neck braces are pretty rad (or at least that is what I tell myself right after I put mine on)

13. We own all the furniture in our house as of March 16, 2012.

14. I live in South Florida within 20 minutes drive of the Atlantic Ocean...the closest thing to paradise (not on earth) but at least in the 48 contiguous states.

15. I bake a mean banana bread. Ask somebody.

16. I get to ride in my sister's new car (*once she buys it) and take FREE advantage of her new car smell.

17. I am able to find the humor in most things and enjoy trying to help others see said light.

18. I am not afraid to laugh at myself.

19. I have failed brilliantly and often, but I have managed to give it one more try after each fail.

20. My friends are AWESOME and I LOVE THEM. Every single one of them.

21. Two words: Crossfit ATP (#10-Crossfit is one thing but this is THE gym and these are THE people who are in a completely different stratosphere of awesomeness...)

22. I am the only person who needs to believe that I am a good singer...(but I know you think so too, you're just holding back ;-)

23. My dad fixed his broken computer all by himself...without my help! Go Team Lesinski!!!

24. Ryan Fitzpatrick + Mario Williams = 2013 Super Bowl Champions Buffalo Bills!!!

25. I am elated that I bought the insurance for my cell phone.

26. I have the GREATEST car insurance company in the world...Foremost

27. The range of motion in my neck is slowly coming back a little bit every day (Praise God!!)

28. I only have 23 more days to wait for my Neuro follow-up (not that I'm counting) Patience. Patience.

29. I don't feel a day over 25 and I am having more fun celebrating 35 than I did 25...beat that 20's!

30. We still get to celebrate Mom's birthday appropriately...bring on Ruth's Chris!!

31. I get to share this special day with my Jamaican sister from another mister, Marjorie...Happy Birthday Beautiful!

32. I'm forgiven. (and when I tell you I mess up...I mess up)

33. I live in the most beautiful FREE country on the planet. (Yes, I'm partial)

34. You are reading my blog!

35. God has something REALLY BIG planned for my life and I can't wait to see it unfold before my very eyes.

Happy Birthday to me...

Yes.

Happy Birthday to me.

ALIVE AND getting WELL

I realized last Sunday just how traumatically life altering a car accident can be, and how a SINGLE INSTANT in time can absolutely unravel you to a degree that you have a completely shifted perspective as a result.

Let me start by saying that above all else I am grateful.

Deep breath. My sister and I were taking our Mom out for her (number number) birthday dinner at the Fort Lauderdale Ruth's Chris (the collective all time favorite restaurant of the trio) so we picked her up at 5:30pm (old people time) at her place. By the time we got to University Dr. on 5-95 we were doing exactly 65 mph in the left lane. Why/how do we know this??? Because Jenn made it a point to check the speedometer when the SUV that caused the accident came up very quickly behind her. He was almost riding Jenn's back bumper for a few seconds right before he cut out from behind her to the right (in front of another car) and then immediately back in front of her to his left. Jenn pushed on the brakes (2007 4-dr Accord) so as not to rear end him and then the rest gets kinda gray for me. We fishtailed, 360'ed once or twice and hit the left retaining wall (airbags deployed) and then the car spun back the other way across ALL LANES OF TRAFFIC (never hitting another car...Praise God) to hit the right retaining wall another 2-3 times. Witnesses tried to get the guy's plate but we may and will most likely never know who caused this accident. Jenn's car is completely totaled. Mom has 5 acutely (that's the bad kind) fractured ribs. Jenn has a nasty airbag burn on her left forearm and a broken right ring fingertip & lots of bumps and bruises. I sustained a concussion (missing about 3 hrs of memory following the accident...scary), lost consciousness, 7 staples in my head, 2 black eyes (which are just about healed), numbness in my face and teeth, and a fractured C2 vertebrae (in a full on blue neck brace for at least 6 weeks). Gratefully and thankfully we ALL walked away. Granted I was initially rolled away from the scene, but I walked into the front door of my home later that same night.

This has been a tricky puzzle to try to piece together over this last week and the most difficult pieces for me are the emotional and spiritual ones. Just thinking about the weight of ALL of it. The accident, my sister, my mom, my dad, our family, my health, my life, my present state in life, what the future holds. To come so close to being just a memory, and essentially escaping death has made me do a complete and 100% personal inventory. We are talking BIG PICTURE stuff here people. I'm still sorting it all out (as we all are) in my head but there is one thing I know for certain. We were protected by mighty warrior guardian angels and the hand of God. I was spared. I am certainly loved.
I can assure you of this...my sunny disposition just got WAY sunnier, because I am happy to be alive.
If I love you, I mean really love you...and you haven't heard the 'accident speech' from me yet...get ready to feel the love, because I am happy to be alive.
I will continue to make ZERO apologies for being crazy, ditsy, lovely me, because I am happy to be alive.
I will say what's on my mind and I will tell you I love you even if it makes you a little uncomfortable, because I am happy to be alive.
I will hug you for just one second too long, because I am happy to be alive.
Life is short and it can be over before you get to tell that person how you really feel about them. So, get on the phone and call them and tell them...go on. I will be calling you soon to talk, because I am happy to be alive.

Now I will get back to the business of total and complete healing. I am predicting the 'Greatest Comeback in L.H.L. History'. First order of business is to relax and be still for the next 40 days. Yes, I am counting them, because the thought of sitting still that long and not Crossfitting will be tough so I HAVE to have something to look forward to. I am looking forward to a good report on April 19th. I am looking forward to our next hug.

I am looking forward to a hope filled blessed future, because I am happy to be alive.

Dear Mama...

Kerry Lesinski...aka Mommers,

I want to take this opportunity to thank you for every single thing you have ever given me and done for me in my life. Thanks for leaving New Jersey (no, really ...THANK YOU!!) and moving to sunny South Florida. Thanks for picking Dad, getting together and then promptly settling down on Fillmore, then Madison Street. Thank you for raising me in strength and Faith (Psalm 103). You have always walked through your life with your head held high, even in the midst of some of the darkest days. What an example you have set for me...

Thank you for living what it means to be a woman of integrity, beauty, and love. Thank you for all the lessons you have taught me in my life (the older I get, the more I realize just how right you always were and STILL ARE!). I have been blessed with a heart (Hart;) like yours. You love easily and completely. You always give the benefit of the doubt and never doubt the benefit (I just made that up!). You are my safe shelter in the storms of life. I always know where home is.

You are home.

Now, in no particular order I would like to:

Thank you for teaching me how to do the laundry really well so that the freshness lasts for days.

Thank you for trusting me with Nana's glass bread baking dishes (I think this is why my banana bread is so loved!).

Thank you for teaching me never to take the milk (or ketchup, or bag of shredded cheese, or carton of eggs) at the very front of the supermarket shelf and to always inspect the 'Sell By' dates on my food.

Thank you for teaching me how to properly apply eyeshadow and which undergarments suit each outfit appropriately.

Thank you for being my biggest fan and cheerleader.

"Come over here and let me see you for a minute." I think that is your favorite thing to say to me.

Thank you for laughing at all my jokes.

Thank you for always seeing the real me and encouraging me in all my personal goals.

I am so unbelievably blessed to have you as my Mother. One day I will be a mother (God willing and God help me) and I pray that I can be even only just half the mom you are to me.

I am me because you are you.

I love you and I thank you.

Happy Birthday

35 days to Thirty-Fabulous

I didn't give too much thought to getting older when I was younger. I was never the kind of person who thought the impending birthday was almost as bad as the end of the world. I don't think about it too much more now as I prepare for my next milestone on March 27th. (P.S. I have NEVER felt BETTER in my LIFE!) I have always looked forward to celebrating my birthday each year and 2012 is no exception. This time around I was thinking about how I could best prepare for this momentous occasion. I mean, c'mon folks, it's a SPEED LIMIT birthday after all...so I'm going to make a little bit of a big deal about it...

Enter the newest sugar detox. Start date 2/21/12

For the last 35 days leading up to the big three five, I have decided to cut out all of the sugar that has crept back into my diet since the holidays. ((I CAN'T QUIT YOU!!)) Something must be done about my abusive love affair with sugar...I think it's time for an intervention. What a tumultuous ride it has been. To that end, I need to stop eating it again. Like ALL of it!
I will commit to working out in some way shape or form 4 times a week (Crossfit, kettle bells, paddle boarding) as well. It's out there now, so I'm accountable.

It's the perfect distraction. Keep you posted.

On my mark, get set...turn Thirty-Fabulous

A Valentine for the Valentine-less

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

I did it! I finally decided on my Valentine for tomorrow and boy is she something else! She is an amazing, beautiful, kind, charming, funny and loving (I could keep going here, but you get the idea) woman.

Me!!!

Yes folks, I am my own Valentine for 2012! It's just me, myself, and I (remember that De La Soul tune?) I have known me (heart, soul and mind) for almost 35 years now (even though I don't look a day over 24, I know...lol) and who else would I rather be hanging out with on the day we collectively celebrate ALL things LOVE (I could answer that question but then I would have to kill you) besides me?! The longest lasting, best relationship I have ever had and the only one that will see me from the beginning to the end is the one I have with myself (same goes for you). The person who loves me the most. The only person who ever truly had my back 100% of the time. The person who believes in me even more than my Mom and Dad and knows that God has a special plan for my life. Seriously, if I am not my own biggest fan then how could I ever hope to attract other fans to join my team...??? Be your own biggest fan right now! I am so many things to so many people...A daughter, a sister, a niece, a cousin, a Crossfitter, an employee, a coworker, a friend. Someday, maybe also someone's wife and someone else's mother. God ONLY knows...
Our culture has done such an amazing and complete job of making us all believe that SOMETHING must be missing in our life if we are single and no holiday highlights this crap talk quite as much as V-Day does. All I have to do is have a conversation with someone who is single (or get to thinking about it for too long myself). You would think it was the end of the world or something. Well, I am here to tell you that it's not. It's not even close. Tomorrow will come and go just like any other Tuesday and you (and I) may have to deal with the fact that Deborah in Accounting got 2 dozen long stem red roses from her 'AMAZING boyfriend Johnny!!' but don't let it take away from how fabulous you are..and even this too shall pass. Just because you may not get your own bouquet doesn't mean that you are not FULLY LOVED (and AWESOME) and frankly, it's really insignificant in the grand scheme of things. You, yes YOU, are amazing and great and perfectly whole even without a man (or a woman) in your life. I hope that you know this already and that you totally believe it to be true too...Believe the hype. Own it. Then live it!

I have often wanted to put all this out there and I have always held back until now, perhaps for fear of being judged or sounding ______ (whatever word comes to your mind right now). Well folks, welcome to the decade of 30-something... where I have found my voice and now just start saying "Screw it! This is me. Take it or leave it!"...so listen to my wisdom (or lack thereof) if you like where this is going.
I have pretty much been single for most of my adult life, save one 18-month relationship in my early 20's so I like to think I know a thing or two about a thing or two. For me, singleness can be incredibly lonely at times (Omigosh can I get brutally honest here!?) and I think I see what is greener grass in other people's pastures. Let me always be mindful that they still have to mow their lawns just like me. It sometimes can be a sucker punch to the old ticker, especially when all I keep hearing is how wonderful I am by everyone who loves me. I start asking myself these questions like "What's wrong with me?" and "What am I not doing right?"
Newsflash people - I realize more and more every day that I don't have to DO anything and there is nothing wrong with me. Timing is everything in life and it's not for me or you to figure out. Just be OK with living your life to it's fullest today and every day.

It's all about focus. What are you focused on? The fact that you're single and may still be alone when tomorrow comes? Well, then your Valentine's Day is gonna suck. There are literally millions of things that are worse than being alone on February 14th, so wipe that sulky look off your face and get on the good foot with me for the day.
I am focused on the fact that I have loving and living parents who ADORE me and would lay down their lives for me. I have a sister who is my soul mate, who can feel my pain without me ever having to even say anything to her, who feels my joy and shares in the pride of my accomplishments by my side. Every single one. I am focused on the love of my friends, who build me up in confidence EVERY SINGLE TIME I am down. I will focus mostly on the LOVE that God has for me...who loves me more? Not even me. Who sees me stumble only to hold out a hand until I ask for help? Not even me. Who knows the desires of my heart and the dreams of my mind better? Not even me. So I think I will rest my mind and leave the tough stuff up to Him and I'll go about the more exciting business of living my life to the fullest. It does, after all, have an expiration date.

Even though I am celebrating tomorrow sans man (the tingle-in-the-dingle kind of love), I am celebrating all the other kinds of L.O.V.E. with my favorite person...me. If you are single, and loathing the idea that you have to trudge through the over-commercialized, chocolate hearts, Mylar balloons and really bad jewelry ads that is Valentine's Day, loathe no more!! Get to the business of reminding yourself how incredibly great you are. Here's an idea. Do something nice for yourself tomorrow. Take yourself out to lunch. Get a pedicure. Go to the gym and have a really good workout. Walk on the beach. Order in some take-out for dinner and watch the Heat beat the Pacers at 7:00pm. Thank yourself for being your Valentine...it's quite alright. I suspect that not everyone who DOES have one is thrilled about theirs. (but hopefully everyone is)
And call your Mother...she misses you and loves you!
Don't settle for anything less than the best.

Three things endure through everything...faith, hope and love. And the GREATEST of these things is LOVE.

Do you feel the love??? Because I certainly do.

The Wall

Yesterday was one of the coolest days of my life. So far. I'm not even 35 just yet and these are the kind of Saturdays I'm having??? Lord have mercy! On my quest to make 2012 even better than 2011, I thought it would be a good idea to do some things I have never done before, so I decided to sign up for a female only Crossfit competition. Ah, excuse me, what was I thinking? I think I was crazy because this stuff is no joke. As the day approached I started to get incredibly nervous and by Wednesday a sore throat was coming on. (it's a full blown crusty cold complete with no voice today, Happy Sunday!) Fast forward to yesterday morning...I wake up, excuse me...my stomach wakes me up at 6am (30 min before the alarm). I lie in bed, then shower, get dressed in a fog, get coffee, and get to the event. The 2nd Annual Heraean Games at the Seminole Casino in Hollywood. Incredibly organized and intimidating from the get-go. And then I saw them...the WALLS.
8 feet to get over.
Oh the parallels and metaphors to draw from this moment...I immediately looked at it and thought, 'Nope, it's not your day to climb a wall Lauren.' Then I thought, 'You have no choice.' I tried it a handful of times before the competition and did not get over it. I even ran eight (significant # here) of my knuckles into the wall on one attempt because I misjudged my footing...dummy. Then I stopped trying and focused on jumping rope until it was time to for my first workout.
WOD#1 - 15 min. cap - 50 double unders, 40 calorie row, 30 box jumps, 20 dead lifts (135lbs), 10 power snatches (55lbs), 10 push ups release, and BOMP BOMP BOMP...the 8 FOOT WALL, sled pull to finish the heat! I just wanted to go already. My Mom and Dad were both there, my Coaches Juan and Stephanie were there, my friends April and Nicole were both competing with me side by side the whole way (until they passed me:) and my friend Teresa was there (kids and all!) along with a bunch of people from our gym. And then the countdown began.
3-2-1...GO!
I just went. 50, 40, 30, 20, 10, 10 and then...BOMP, BOMP, BOMP...the WALL!
Attempt #1 - fail (no biggie, I'm exhausted right now, take a deep breath and try again)
Attempt #2 - fail (I don't think I'm getting over this wall)
Attempt #3 - fail (Just keep trying until they call time and make it look good at the very least)
And then it happened. I grabbed the top of the wall and I pulled myself up, and then I just kept pulling and I was finally able to get my right heel over the top of it and I was able to pull myself over it!! I couldn't believe it. I did it! I was so elated I almost started to cry. I basically started to cry until I realized I still had to pull the sled backwards to the end of the finish line.
My time was 14:27 and after 3 workouts I placed 8th out of a field of 18 women. That is better than 50% of the competition! I just couldn't believe I actually made it over that seemingly insurmountable wall. I really wasn't sure if I was going to make it over it when they yelled go, I just knew I couldn't give up trying to get over it. That's really how life is isn't it? It is full of eight foot walls that we can either decide to climb, or at least attempt to climb, or we can walk away saying to ourselves, 'I can't do it so why do I even try?' and give up on them. The key to getting over them is all HEART (thanks Juan). If you got it then you'll get over them. Then you stand on the other side realizing you had the strength all along to get over that wall.
I sit here now on Sunday night still amazed at the entire thing, the whole day...everything. I did something I have never done before in front of a crowd of a couple hundred people and I loved every single minute of it! I even had a personal best of 125 lbs for my overhead squat. All in all it was an amazing experience and I am better for having done it. I will never forget those moments in that day that stood out. It's all about making the most out of every regular day while planning for additional fun stuff for specific future special days (like this for example). I really need a massage right now and I am utterly exhausted, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I did not let the fear of the unknown get the better of me this time.

I wonder what wall (literal or figurative) I will have to scale next?

Decisions, decisions...

Are you happy with all the choices you are making in your life? Are you happy with most of them, some of them...or even worse (say it ain't so) NONE of them? Take for instance whatever you are eating right now (if you are). Do you LOVE it! Do you even like it a little bit? If not, then put it down and eat something you LOVE! (My personal suggestion is to stay away from Girl Scout cookies because most people, including yours truly, can't eat just one...and don't get me started on the fact that you get 2 sleeves of sugary minty chocolaty goodness in each Thin Mints box!)
I spent lots of time feeling sorry for myself because I wasn't living the life that I wanted to be living...the life I knew I always had the potential to live, the life I am living today. I am never going to get those years back. I had to MAKE THE DECISION to change my life. Then I did it and I changed it. I mean, who would have ever thought that life could be this great!! It IS possible to be fully lived. Granted, from every sky a little rain must fall and it's not ALL roses, but all in all it's aces baby. Everyone has a choice about every single thing in their life. Every. Single. Thing. Obviously there are things that are out of our control but I'm talking big picture here. What have you ALWAYS wanted to do??? You should totally take that trip that you have always wanted to take...now...before you have a kid. Oh what, you have kids? You should finally take that trip you have always wanted to take and bring the kids with you so they get to have the same memory FOREVER...with you. You should finally tell that person that you love them. What if they don't make it to tomorrow? You can call them right now and say what you need to say. Don't waste another second! You are CAPABLE of getting into those jeans again...just decide that you are going to do whatever it takes, take the cookie out of your mouth, and take a walk. Start with the first step (corny, yes...but also true) and take it from there. You should go out on a limb and finally paint that friggin' bathroom. I mean you walk in there every day and sit down/stand up and hate it more with each new time you have to look at it. You can get out of debt. You should go back to school. You should just do it already!!! Whatever it is that you want to do. Like Nike put it so eloquently...Just Do It! We get one ride on this roller coaster. Why not make the most out of every single day, while planning for additional fun stuff in the future? Life is TOO SHORT to make the wrong choices, or the choices that are not the best ones to make. If your choices include not using your blinker when driving on I-95 or Super Sizing it...those would be categorized as bad choices. Now get out and run that trail, pay those bills, and live your one and only life to the FULLEST!

How Seltzer Water changed my life...

Let's be honest, a girl doesn't get to a beefy 230 lbs. by drinking Diet Soda. Thankfully, I can't stand the aftertaste and sugary coating of regular sodas, so I won't blame that either. It had everything to do with what the Diet Coke was washing down that was most likely the culprit. However, one can take away lots of wonderful treasures from the bubbles that occupy each can...

The last diet soda I drank was on July 4, 2011 (Happy Birthday Motherland!) and when the last tepid backwashy gulp went down (isn't the last sip of every can of soda the same?! G.R.O.S.S.) I wasn't sure if it really would be my last soda. By that point in my 'transformative journey' (sounds soooo New Age and for that I apologize) I was looking to drop just a few more pounds and going 'Sugar Free' was my next experiment. Since cutting all the sugar (except whole fruit) out didn't seem like punishment enough (yes, I am a sugar addict and even if I don't eat sugar I am still addicted to it!) I decided to cut out the diet sodas too. Enter the Syfo difference! Syfo is a brand of seltzer water (0 calories, 0 Sodium, nothing I can't pronounce) that my Mom swears by. "It's got the most bubbles honey. It's the sparkliest. Trust me, I've tried them all." Thanks Mom. Done.

Can I just tell you that drinking bubbly water is EVEN BETTER than diet soda. Seriously. And they have flavors!! LaCroix Grapefruit is AMAZEBALLS and those come in cans (just like my Diet Dr. Pepper used to come!) so you can take them with you!!! See, not so bad...?!

I know that this time around the Crazy-Go-Round of weight loss my mindset has been different. I am doing this ALL for ME. Not a broken relationship, not the approval of my parents, sister, or friends, or...wait for it, some stupid guy who can't even see past his own ____. Because it's all for me, it's easier to make the next right decision. I take each day as it comes...and each day comes with at least 1-2 bottles of Syfo seltzer water now. It's like a treat for me when I get home from work each night. I get to upgrade from flat bottled room temperature water to bottled sparkling water with ICE CUBES...woo hoo! (Oh the things that get me going!) If I am feeling really mischievous, I will squeeze some lime in it. And when I am feeling downright naughty, I throw in a healthy shot (or 2) of vodka. I don't drink all the time, but a vodka soda with lime is about as healthy as you can get for alcohol. It also tastes really good, so watch it.

Getting healthy is about small changes that over time turn into a new healthier lifestyle. If I did all of it at one time, I would not be here, in this new package, with this new outlook. I would have given up. I would have convinced myself that it was A) too hard and I am B) not worth it.

Friend, YOU are MOST WORTHY of ALL of the BEST things life has to offer...If you ever want to grab a glass of the bubbles and talk about it...

2012 - The Game Changer

2011 was the year that changed my life...in 2011 and for 2011. It does not stop there. I have not 'arrived' by any stretch of the imagination. 2012 is going to change my life in brand new ways. I learned a great deal about myself (and others) last year. I was able to inspire a few other people along the way (my sister starts Crossfit in exactly 14 days, not that I am counting.) I wrote down my goals, set up a plan, and then went about meeting the goals.

2012 is the GAME-CHANGER.

It's all about CONTINUED and NEW SUCCESS. I will strive every day to surpass my old goals, running them over on my way to the next mountaintop. I want to be a champion every day. Go out and give it my best effort.
I want EVERY SINGLE DAY to be AMAZING, and I am the only person who controls that. Now, every day is not going to be AMAZING, but if I think long and hard enough I am sure to find one thing in each day that makes it amazing.
I will travel even more. To here, to there, to everywhere. The sky is the limit...to all the faraway places that I dream of going to. Life is what I make of it...
I will WRITE MORE (see?! it's already happening) and not be afraid to say what I REALLY want to say...like truthfully how you make me feel!
I will LOVE more and expect even less from others. I refuse to stop being exactly who I am; a little flaky, full of optimism, smiling through the good times and the bad times with my heart on my sleeve. I must try a little harder to protect my heart from all the cracks and breaking, but I refuse to hold back. I will continue to jump into every day feet first and with my eyes closed, hoping for the best.
I will be more purposeful with my love. I want to tell you what you mean to me TODAY, because tomorrow is not promised to anyone. I saw some funeral coverage for the 3 little girls (sisters, one 10 and 7-yr old twins) in N.Y. who died (along with their grandparents) in a house fire on Christmas Day and I just wept for their parents, and their family, and everyone who survived the fire. The sorrow of these complete strangers hit me so very hard. I had to immediately ask my sister for a hug and I tell her how much I LOVE HER. You just never know when you might be saying something to someone for the last time. What do you want to remember about that last conversation...a fight, a snippy remark, an argument? No thanks, I'll pass. I want you to remember how much you were loved by me. I want to GIVE and GET some LOVE. Some GOOD love. All LOVE. All the time. So with that I will say that if you have read all the way to this sentence...I SO LOVE YOU FOR THAT! (smile)
Love conquers ALL things!!! (That's some Bible truth for you!)
The moral of the story is this...I CHOOSE to change the game in 2012. Every day is only as good as I make it. No one can take my attitude away from me. Let it always be positive and encouraging and loving. I hope that when I look back on this in a year that I will be satisfied.