Reflections of....

a life lived in 2008...and it goes a little somethin' like this:
I am one year older and in many ways wiser and even more ways less so. I have had many chances to get it right and sometimes I did...more often than not I did not. I have learned that it is best to stay away from fresh produce when vacationing in Cancun, no matter how nice the hotel and the service personnel are. No one likes to get two separate shots in the butt to stop from vomiting, #3, and fainting...just take my word on this one.
Jackson Hole, Wyoming is one of the most beautiful places I have ever had the opportunity to see.
No matter how bad the Buffalo Bills suck, I guess I am sucker because I love them in spite of their continuing dismal performances. Maybe NEXT year will be our year to go all the way.
Vanity license plates are kinda gay in a vain sort of way.
Drunk drivers suck, especially at 7:00am in the morning.
The Summer Olympics still inspire me to be a better athlete.
My sister is still my best friend, reflecting the best parts of me while still being honest enough about my crappy and ugly side.
I miss my friends from work and layoffs suck and the fallout is even worse, but thank you Jesus - I still have a job.
I discovered 30 Rock and now I know what all the fuss is about. Yeah, it's that good.
Britney is back and better than ever. What can I say, I route for the underdog.
Someone write a song like 'Butterfly' for me...(I am old enough to not be embarrassed about it) so have some ice water handy.
Today I got a suntan...the day before New Year's Eve. God Bless South Florida...

Happy New Years to you and yours. Kiss the ones you love and even kiss the ones you like even if it's only a little bit.

Merry Christmas

I never thought that saying Merry Christmas would offend someone, especially when the name of the holiday is CHRISTMAS. No one seems to be complaining that they don't have to go to work, or if they do, they are getting holiday pay. Oh, I'm sorry...I didn't hear you? Are you still complaining?
I mean what is this day all about anyway? The birth of Christ. My Savior and yours.
I am looking at a wall of greeting cards on my office door with the following sentiments: Season's Greetings, Happy Holidays, and Holiday Greetings. No, it would not offend me if you want to wish me a Merry Christmas and I hope it doesn't offend you when I wish you the same. If you are Jewish then I say to you - Happy Hanukkah! I am Christian, so I would hope you wish me a Merry Christmas. Everyone is so worried about saying the wrong thing to the wrong people. I say that we should all just say what's on our minds and if someone doesn't want to hear it, then they can walk away. At least we would talking to each other more often.

Merry Christmas

I'm baaaaaack...

Where have I been though, really? Right here all the time, just never making enough time to type something profound enough for others to read. You know it gets crazy up in my head sometimes...lucky for you this is not one of those times.

Let's see, what's been happening lately? Took my Chemistry final and nailed it to the wall...I have to wait a week to get my grade online. (side note: what did we ever do before the Internet?) I think back to the morning of my first class (after graduating college the first time 7 years ago) and I was so nervous. "What if I am the oldest one in there?" I got over it and am happy to say that I enjoyed the class.

Next. Work party. Exactly as you think it would have gone. I got to emcee the event which made feel special.

Besides, any excuse to have a microphone near my mouth is fine by me.

I am total ham (and yes, that's our company President)

Last but not least...cookie party in 3 days and I only have to bake 6 batches of cookies. Kill me now and bury me with the cookies!

How do I love this season?

Let me count the ways...

1. Leaving the windows open in my car and my house.
2. Good hair days, everyday.
3. Baking...anything...for anyone.
4. Shopping for presents.
5. Cinnamon brooms in the produce section at Publix...just a whiff please.
6. Holiday scents including, but not limited to Apples and Cinnamon, Pumpkin Pie Spice, Christmas trees, hot cooked turkey and bourbon ham, fresh baked banana breads and cookies.
7. CHAMPAGNE...a toast anyone?!
8. Putting ornaments on the tree after going into the attic (which is cool enough to go into) to pull out all the decorations boxes.
9. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
10. Parties.
11. Eating.
12. The TRUE meaning of Christmas.

Whether you like it or not, the holidays are upon us full force. Don't pay such close attention to the Stock Market, instead pay attention to the ones you love. Don't spend a lot of money, but spend a lot of time.

Six Flags Atlantis

A friend of mine sent me the 'Unofficial Website of Six Flags Atlantis and I just had to share it with you.
http://www.lucas-photo.com/atlantis/history.php
I was born and raised in South FL and I remember going to Atlantis every other Friday during Summer Camp at Sunnyland Summer Camp in Hollywood. This went on for a few years when I was in Elementary and Middle school. What a blast we had. We looked forward to it every time we went. Trying to shove all of my clothes into those tiny lockers, the wave pool, picking the everlasting wedgie out of my butt every time I went down the Thunderbolt, the tube slides and lugging that huge board thing up all those steps to go down that one ride near the far eastern end of the park (the name escapes me now). I remember walking through the candy store on our way out each time (under that really powerful fan) and buying those huge Jaw Breakers that I could barely fit into my mouth. I would also (at least once every summer) stub my big toe on the walkways so bad that it would peel all the skin off because I was running so fast to get the wave pool or the Thunderbolt.

PS) You can totally tell these shots are taken in the 1980's...check out the high fashion!

A jumbled mess of commentary

I have a bunch of things to say and they do not necessarily fit together neatly in any way, shape, or form, but if you know me at all this will not surprise you and as you read on you will slightly turn your head off to one side as you smile just a little bit and think to yourself...that's my Lauren.

• I am doing really WELL in my Chemistry class and the Lab. Really well!
• I went to a baby shower on Sunday and saw a lot of people I haven't seen in YEARS and it was a blast. I think I am still slightly in my sugar coma (but it was totally worth it).
• I am doing very poorly at my Marathon preparation...but when I think about running it in February, I always imagine myself crossing the finish line and mental imagery is 99% of it. It's true, I googled it.
• I watch entirely too much TV, like to the point that I need to cut hours of it out of my life. What's more important, watching actors getting paid exorbitantly to act out lives that real people do not have (except Amazing Race and Top Chef - new season starts tomorrow!) OR living my own life, no matter how mundane and/or lively it is?
• I can't wait to start REALLY redoing my mom's house. She has turned the corner and decided she wants to do it...now just what do we do first?!
• I hate hearing other people's cell phones ringing in the office...Seriously, you can't just put that thing on vibrate and lay it on your desk? Instead, everyone has to listen to the theme song for The Little Mermaid everytime the IT Manager's Verizon phone rings. Dude, I know that you're a Dad, but The Little Mermaid song???
• My goal is to reach the 200 song limit on this player I have set up on my blog so that I can listen to them every day, all day long while I work - for free.
• The holidays are here and I am SO excited. I am going to try to perfect some new homemade gift recipes this year. I love to bake for the ones I love!
• I am not ashamed to say that I didn't vote for Obama, because I didn't...besides, I love an underdog...but it is now time to get to the task of praying for him and Congress and the Senate to make godly decisions for this nation. We are still ONE NATION under GOD. Do you think once he knew he won the election that any point in time he said to himself..."Wow, I won...now what?"

Peace, love, and chicken and grease

New friends!

Jen has an intern this year and we found out that her parents and grandparents live in our community. We were invited to a 'Neighbor Party' on Saturday with 8 other people who also live within walking distance from our house - SWEET!

The best part was that we got along with EVERYONE. They all have really great senses of humor and there were no dead or weird silences throughout the night...just amazing fun. I laughed and laughed until my cheeks burned and my stomach hurt. I made the mistake of eating dinner before going over there (it's the traditional Saturday night steak dinner) and wasn't hungry to eat any of the fabulous stuff that everyone made, although I managed to get a few jalapeno poppers in before the end of the night. We played Scattergories and dominoes and ate cobbler at 10:30pm.

It was 5 1/2 hours full of fun and the next one is scheduled for December 6th. I can't hardly wait and I already know what I am bringing (does this surprise you in the least bit?) There are like 87 pictures of me in the album all with a smile on my face.

It became the goal to try to get me in a picture without a smile on my face. You know it's a fun night when your cell phone falls in the toilet (before you go of course)!

This is how nice these people are (Jackie, Willie, Cara, Joe, Eric, Ken, Libby and Karen)...they walked us home at 1:00am. We looked like the Gang of Scarborough walking through the middle of the street trying to keep our voices down - GOOD FUN!

Have you ever...

got to singing so good while you are in the shower that you actually have to actively stop bathing yourself to finish out the song? You know, close your eyes and just let it wail?
I did yesterday.....
and I----eeee-----I will always love you----uuu--uuuu----I will always, I will always, love youUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!
And I rocked it. Whitney's got nothin' on me.

Billy Elliot comes to Broadway

One of THE best movies I have ever seen is now on Broadway in NYC.

http://www.billyelliotbroadway.com/

Now I have an excuse to go back to New York, and I don't care that the tickets cost $127 each either!

Vacation

Usually vacations are reserved for vacating one's own domicile in search of overpriced airline fares, hotel stays and bad food. Well, I decided against it at the last minute and I am happier for it. First of all (and if you know me at all) I was going to Boston on standby tickets costing only $75. But there is never a guarantee that you will make to where you want to go on time or whether you will make it home on time. As much as I love people watching at the airport (which is hands down THE BEST place for this past time) I would hate to be there all day waiting to see if I can get on the next Jet Blue Flight...so I stayed home. It was great. My sister was out of town on her annual St. Augustine trip with a bunch of 4th graders (God help her) so I took advantage of my 'alone' time. I cleaned out my closet, pulled some weeds, gave a huge bag of clothes (after it was inventoried) to Good Will, and made 2 of the most delicious meals I have made in a long time. The best part about experimenting is when the dish comes out better than you expected it would.
On Monday, I made oven roasted butternut squash and bacon risotto with grilled shrimp (in Italian seasoning, fresh parsley and lemon juice). I had to give the leftovers away because I didn't trust myself with them lingering in the refrigerator.
Last night was grilled tilapia with a fresh pineapple/soy/vinegar sauce topped with cilantro chimichurri and pineapple salsa. The sides were roasted fennel and fresh rosemary mashed potatoes topped with oven roasted Italian marinated vegetables.
I was really proud of myself, namely because I took inspiration from some recipes I found on the Food Network website, but really just made the meals my own with my judgement.

Tonight is is slow cooker Extra Lean Pork Tenderloin with fresh ginger, cabbage, onion, carrots, and the leftover pineapple sauce. The whole thing is going over brown rice. I am not too sure about this one, because there was no recipe and the crock pot is full to the top with food...

10.31.08

I kind of secretly enjoy and hate Halloween all at the same time.
I love to dress up. I hate what the holiday stands for.
I love candy, especially the little pumpkins that taste like Candy Corn. I hate the undead.
I decided a while ago that this year I would dress up as Billy Mays, you know the OxiClean guy, just because he cracks me up and the thought is that I would ultimately make other people laugh. Besides, it's cheap and I am ALL ABOUT cheap, I mean frugal. I do have one burning question though...Why is he always yelling? Whether is OrangeGlo, Kaboom, Steam Buddies (got that one off of Wikipedia) or OxiClean, the louder you try to sell me on it is not going to make me buy it more. Is his target market hearing impaired people? Just turn the volume down and everyone will be alright.
But wait, there's more.
Since I work in an office (kinda just like Dunder Mifflin in many painful ways) I am obviously not going to dress up as anything remotely outside the boundaries of the dress code. Besides, any excuse to draw a full beard and mustache on is reason enough for me. Well, I am not in the mood this year. There is no one FUN left to party with and again I really do not like what the holiday stands for. So all you pretty ladies out there who want an absolute sure fire way to not get asked out by anyone at any parties you may go to on the 31st, take my advice and be the legend, live the life of...
BILLY MAYS. If you call in the next 7 minutes, we will double your order.
You're welcome.

Fall...

Last night was the MOST beautiful full moon in the sky (I love them and how they light up the entire night) and it was breezy and just cool enough to get me into the season. Granted, I will never fully realize a true 'AUTUMN' unless I move north of Orlando, but it will do just fine. This morning it was even breezier and a little cooler. I just love it. It makes me daydream. Up north in Ohio (Aunt, uncle, cousin territory) they go to the apple orchard for cider and people tie dried cornstalks to their fences. I wish we could do something like that here. I am excited because I will be in NH this weekend and will hopefully get my fill of crisp, humidity free air. I will take pictures as well. Hopefully there are still some leaves left on the trees.

Hot chocolate anyone?

Getting away...

I haven't been on a trip since Mexico, and the only thing that comes to mind when I think about that one was passing out in a wheelchair in the lobby on the day we left. I am a real party animal, huh? My friend finally bought her first house (I am admittedly a bit jealous) in Exeter, NH last year and has been begging me to come see it for over a year. So she sent me a Jet Blue Buddy Pass and I am going to try to get on the 5pm flight this Saturday. I am starting to get really excited. At first I didn't want to go because it will throw a wrench in my routine, but now, as each painful moment at work passes by I become more and more ready. Say a little prayer that I get on both flights (gotta love standby travel) and that I find the black and white Red Sox cap for Jennifer (just don't tell her I am getting it).
Oh yeah...I really think I did well on the Chemistry test. I am such a geek, I actually like getting an 'A' in the class and I secretly battle the smarter than me woman who is getting a better grade than me. I know, I know...an 'A' is an 'A' right? But I want the BEST score.
Calm down Lauren.

Better Day....

Slowly returning to my old self. It feels really good. I will be back at the gym on Monday and I am more focused on what is happening right now. I am not dwelling on the former things...
Hopefully I will ace tomorrow's Chemistry test....

Blue...

is how I feel.
I still feel like I am floating through each moment. It is really quite weird. I didn't really realize how affected I was by this accident until I found out that the guy who hit me was arrested for DUI.
CRAZY...
I can't study for my test this weekend. I don't want to work out. I am not hungry. I don't want to speak. I just want to 'be'. I just sit here on the edge of thankfulness and tears replaying the scene over and over in my mind. I really just want to get over it, but it's not that easy. This could have played out so differently and not for one moment do I pretend not to know WHO orchestrated the ENTIRE thing. A friend told me this morning that I was 'lucky'.
Not even close.
I made a new version of my 'famous' (at least in my own mind) banana bread, complete with raisins, coconut, and chocolate chips and at least the house smells wonderful. That makes me feel better. Spaghetti with sauteed peppers and onions for dinner...better still. I pray tomorrow brings a new feeling. Thank God I don't rely on those.
It's raining outside and the sun is still up. It's weird because it feels like the middle of the night. There's something comforting in that, as off the wall as it sounds.
I look forward to the sunrise...

Covered

I really didn't want to go to the gym today. I wanted to sleep in and laze around until it was time to be at work. I decided against it and trudged my way east on 5-95 towards the I-95 S exit. I had just passed the I-95 N exit when...literally and instantly, a yellow Porsche was right next to me. As cliche as this next line will be..."It happened so fast", that I did not even have time to decide what to do next. He attempted to overtake me going at a speed of about 100mph (no kidding) and there was car in the lane to my left that was so close to my right front bumper that a motorcycle would have had problems getting through the space. The funniest thing (for lack of a better way to overstate the obvious) is that he NEVER SLOWED DOWN. This next part took all of 5 seconds to complete:
He just rammed the guy to my left and then proceeded to hit me and spin out behind me (engine catching fire for a moment...what?!), eventually hitting the concrete wall and landing in the emergency lane. $150,000 car...totalled. My coffee (which was in my right hand) splashed everywhere, but I managed to get it back into the cup holder (hands trembling). I was able to compensate my wheel just far enough to the left to keep my car from spinning out. I was able to pull the car into the emergency lane and put the hazards on and I kept my foot on the clutch so that I never stalled out. I did the obligatory "you're OK, you are not bleeding, the car is not on fire, you are safely pulled over" routine before calling in the accident.
I never doubted for a second the hand of God was on me this morning. My car ended up with very little damage compared to how hard I was hit. I drove it away from the scene. I am not hurt, not one little bit. No one in any of the other cars were killed...and that could have gone either way, because both people in the Porsche were hurt...3 broken bones is what was estimated. The kicker to end all kickers is that the guy that hit me was probably drunk. I mean, he was on his way home (at 7:10am) from the night before. EMS and the cop said he smelled like alcohol. No one can be up to any good with those odds.
WOW. Think about it and then just sit back in amazement.
100mph, 3 cars, 5 drinks, and I walked away untouched.
I am covered by the precious blood of Jesus and today my angels took charge over me and I was protected. In the midst of all that could have happened, I was at peace in my soul. And yes, my family flashed in front of my face momentarily when I first got hit and I have to be honest and admit that I am still shaken up over this. I don't even feel like I have been at work today, it feels more like a dream. I never did end up at the gym either. Next time I will just go and hope for something else.
Thank God for the people that put my little Honda Accord together. Thank God for not getting hurt. Thank God for my insurance company that has made getting these repairs done the easiest part of this whole ordeal. Most of all, thank God for the blood of Jesus that covers me every day and protects me mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and PHYSICALLY!
AMEN.

GO BILLS

Number 1 in the AFC East and one of only 4 (I think) teams still undefeated in the league. Keep kicking butt all over the nation boys...I am cheering you on!

Two-a-days

Getting back into a desirable shape has it's ups and downs. One thing I have noticed recently is that I have hit the dreaded "plateau". Thirty-five pounds are gone and not forgotten...but now I am stuck...right...here. As a result I decided to add Spinning classes back into my routine. That means that in addition to my regular morning workout, I added a Spinning class 2 nights out of the week. The first one last Thursday went really well. Then my alarm went off the next morning at 6:00am.
"Exhausted" is the understatement of the decade. It felt as if I had been dragged behind a bus and left for dead. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to physically do...attempt to get out of bed on 9/19/08. The pain in my crotch (excuse me if you will) was an entirely different experience altogether. I got wise to that and purchased a gel seat before yesterday's class. All I can say is "Thank you Jesus, for the person who invented those." I actually enjoyed the class and had ZERO trouble getting up this morning. The side effect is that I have noticed more changes in my body...yeah!
Side notes (In random order) -

• Chemistry class is going well. I think I aced the first test if he curves it, and if he doesn't, well, my score is none of your business. I am acing the lab.
• Why do people breathe heavily into the phone? Can't they hear the wind they are making on their end of the phone? I spent 30 minutes with the I.T. guy from payroll yesterday and it sounded like he was speaking to me from the Dania Beach pier. Pull the microphone away from your nose and face please.
• I am SO excited for the holidays! (Yep, already...I am)

Classic

I checked out this church last week and they played the "updated video" version of David and Goliath before the message and it reminded me of all the crazy spoofs the guys (Adrian and Jon E.) used to do at CRCC. I almost fell out of my seat so I had to share the love...

Weighing in...

I thought about how I wanted to title this blog entry and I kept getting stuck on "losing weight". I really despise that term. Every time the scale goes down 1 lb, I don't ever want to find that pound again. Historically and pathetically enough, I always seemed to find those lost pounds...many, many, many times over.
Well, I think that this time has been different. Getting into shape has never really been the issue for me. I could do it very easily, but, I would always find myself creeping back up that dreaded scale again. It was like an "all or nothing" ON/OFF switch that I would flip depending on how desperate I was at the time to either slim down or pig out.
Through this latest adventure (and what a ride it has been), I knew that I had to look at myself from the complete opposite angle...the inside. What makes an "all or nothing" person when it comes to food? The age old question. Each day I think I am getting closer to answering that question, although I know that only God holds the ultimate and complete answer. I have been wracking my brain since I realized I had a weight issue to answer that question and here I am 15 years later without THE answer. Since I am FAR from perfect this side of heaven, I know that will not 'arrive' if you will, until I pull up to the pearly gates.
Five months ago I was absolutely and unequivocally miserable. Climbing ever steadily UP and UP and almost completely away on the scale, losing a little piece of me along the way. I became almost unrecognizable to myself, isolating myself from the people, and feelings, and things I love. That seems like so long ago and so far away now. I pray that I do not forget the person I used to be because I don't want to go back to her. She was sad and angry and self-pitying...my own worst nightmare of me.
Today is a much better day and these are much brighter times. I can shop at Express now, albeit only in their tops, but the pants will come in due time. I enjoy getting dressed up for work, Publix, school, church. I look forward to going out again and seeing my friends. I don't spend all my hours obsessing over food and how bad I look.
I have gotten rid of 35 pounds to date. I weigh myself much less than I used to. I still enjoy every single thing I love to eat. I exercise 5 times a week. I like to look at myself in the mirror again and I am starting to stand up straighter.

Bring on the holidays...

The simple things...

It has been a very challenging month (give or take 2 weeks) and it has led me to this revelation...
Sometimes I want to go back to the simpler things in life.
To sum it up...
I had to watch 2 of my closest friends get laid off from the company I work for because the owners are cutting costs (plus 21 other people who I love and have missed terribly since 8/1) and I am still there, typing and stapling and filing away in the silence that used to occupy their voices.
It's hard.
It made me think about a job vs. a career. I am tired of having a job. What do you do Lauren? Well, I am an Office Manager in a company that sells All Inclusive Vacations...a J.O.B. When I think back to what I wanted to be 'when I grow up' it was a nurse. So after saying tearful goodbyes to loved friends I decided to back to school and become one, just like that. I am 31 and starting college all over again. I was worried I would be the oldest person in my Chemistry class, and it turns out I am probably on the younger end.
I got very sick recently (including a fainting spell while sitting in a wheelchair in the hotel lobby), while in Mexico on vacation with my sister and very close friend...
NO ONE wants to get sick in a foreign country, let alone Mexico. The only thing worse than that is coming to the decision that you will allow a doctor with very broken English to inject two different needles full of medicine into each one of your butt cheeks. He kept saying the problem was metabolico and I finally gave in. The only thing worse than THAT, is having your sister push you in a wheelchair through the Cancun airport while your 4-month pregnant friend (oh, I didn't mention that before) wheels all 3 pieces of carry on luggage behind you...a LOW point.
That sums up the last 6 weeks...a lot going on. And if you know me, you would agree.
That brings me to the apex of this post. On my way to school on Saturday, I had to go through a Turnpike toll plaza. I am probably one of the last people to buy a Sun Pass (which I am not proud of) which is the single most ingenious invention ever created for FL tax payers. It was one that only cost $.25 and there was an EXACT CHANGE lane. I totally forgot about those. I remember when I was little and my Dad would drive up just past one so that either I or my sister could throw the quarter into the big white plastic basket from the back seat. He would always have one extra quarter ready for us in case we missed. Well yesterday, I had exact change, and I pulled into that lane and threw it in, on the first try. It took me right back to those days in that old rusty colored Ford LTD (with the upholstery that would give me knee burns if I slid across the backseat too quickly) when we used to throw the quarters into the Exact Change basket and...
I smiled to myself.

Magnet for the WRONG men

For purposes of this post, let's say that I have this friend, and her name is Mauren (*names have been changed to protect the ACTUAL person involved). Mauren is super-cool. Attractive...pretty even, good hygiene, pee-your-pants funny, kind, loving, giving, an awesome cook, intelligent...you get the picture. Now Mauren is perpetually single and has been for a some time now. She isn't looking for someone on the bar scene (can you spell C-H-E-E-S-Y?) or at the Hard Rock (yucky gross guys) or at work (married or gay guys). Mauren loves being single, too, although she is not counting out the day that 'the one' comes around. She is just enjoying every day to it's fullest and living life.
In the meantime, however, she is being bombarded (keep in mind she has been single for a few years now) by the weirdest, off-the-wall guys. For instance (and this is the TRUE part)...the guy who works in her local Publix bakery. The biggest problem with this (aside from having no attraction to this guy whatsoever) is that Mauren has to see this guy EVERY SINGLE TIME she goes to the bakery for her weekly black & white cookies and pizza dough (which rocks by the way) and it gets very awkward. She always says hello to be nice. He finds her in the produce dept (remember, he works in the BAKERY) to tell her that the cookies are still on the truck or at the end of aisle 4 to say that the cookies will be ready at 2pm. Seriously? She will check back at the end of the shopping trip, she doesn't need up-to-the-minute text messages. To make matters even more comical, the girls in the deli always crack on Mauren when she comes by for her weekly 1 lb. Deluxe ham order...to the tune of something like "Girl, you need to bring your mace with you when you come in here. That guy is a stalker"...No, not at all awkward,
My favorite most recent example of the 'wrong guy' that Mauren told me about was "Johnny". Johnny works out at the same gym as Mauren (again, a potentially awkward thing as she will run into him potentially several times a week). Mauren is young and tall. Johnny is 22 years older than Mauren and about 1/2 foot shorter than her with REALLY bad teeth. Did I mention that teeth are really important to Mauren...shortness really isn't? Johnny's outfit of choice includes a red sweatband on his head, a sleeveless T-shirt, wrestling shoes, and 80's inspired weightlifting pants. Johnnyasked Mauren to guess his age, which she could not bring herself to do and then Johnny happened to mention that he has more stamina than a 20-year old and that he teaches Latin dancing. Why mention these 2 things? Seriously...is she supposed to do some really quick and cryptic math about how old guys are well...you do the math.
And to answer his question, 'No' she is not giving him her card and, 'No' she doesn't want a flyer for his dance classes....

Seriously?!

I try not to go to Boca Raton unless it's a medical emergency. Enough said.
I was there last Saturday and decided to hit the Town Center Mall on the way home, since I was already 30 miles out of my way. I don't normally see people with their pets out in public, especially in Davie (unless they are riding their horses), so imagine my surprise when I looked up from the Sale Rack of shoes in Banana Republic to see some woman uncomfortably lovingly stroking her small dog while she thumbed through the linen pants. Seriously? First of all, your dog doesn't want to go to the mall with you unless...1) there are other dog butts for him to sniff out or 2) there is food for him to eat.
Secondly, your dog would rather be at home, on top of your bed, with his butt firmly planted on your pillow, waiting for you to come home in just enough time to jump off the bed (you will suspect nothing) and greet you as you turn the key in the door. Your dog DOES NOT want to go shopping with you. He doesn't understand why you are holding him like a baby while you look for that cute little V-neck in your size. He would rather be licking himself in the privacy of your bedroom while you are not home. All he wants is more food, another walk, and fresh water.
To all you people who think it is even 'cuter' to put your dog into a 'doggy stroller' so that you can push him around the mall because it makes you feel like you have a baby. God made dogs with 4 legs, that's 2 more than you (and no one is pushing you around the mall in a stroller) so that they can transport themselves to the next place to take a whizz.
By the way, your dog does not need clothing, of ANY type...God put a fur coat on the dog so that he is appropriately dressed for EVERY OCCASION. The dog does not need a silk bikini with a cubic zirconia tiara and little leather booties...you are just humiliating the dog and he is going to walk around like his feet are fire in them anyway. You are only the person who is amused by this.....
PS) I don't want YOUR dog fur on my new linen pants.

Food Network, I love you

If it wasn't for Food Network, there would be so many things that I did not know. I would not be the cook I am today. I would not know how to make a Peanut Butter Bomb Cake (which changed my life)

or honey-drizzled Gorgonzola crostini. I wouldn't know that a water bath keeps a cheesecake from cracking every time or that you can put a cheesecake into the middle of a red velvet cake and have the best two really great worlds.

I wouldn't own a microplane, a lemon juicer or a Kitchen Aid mixer. I wouldn't know the secret to REALLY good salsa that stays fresh for 5 days or how to roast any vegetable (I like brussel sprouts now) to make it taste heavenly. I also would not know how to make killer prickly pear margaritas (although I got most of that from a really nice waitress at The Canyon), banana bread or bourbon ham.

BIG food love to Food Network...thanks!

An honorable mention goes to Food and Wine magazine. I still don't know anything about wine, but I can sniff it and swirl it before drinking to make the attempt look a little more polished.

Pretend you are listening to the theme song for JAWS

I have 2 words for you.....SHARK WEEK***** Starts on July 27th...
http://dsc.discovery.com/convergence/sharkweek/sharkweek.html
Live it, Love it.
Sharks are on a short list of things I love that can hurt me, although I have always wanted to be bitten by one (and survive it) so that I would have more interesting stories to tell at dinner parties and holiday celebrations.
The rest of the list includes lightning. Love it, love to watch it...but don't want to touch it.

Google Love

I love Google. I love to google anything and everything I can, including myself (a whopping 782 results for my full name). I found the prize-winning essay from High School that won me a $500 scholarship (which I used for spending money on my Senior Class Trip). http://www.radiantpeace.org/rpea/95hsess.htm#1

I also found information on the 50 year Anniversary Celebration of the St. Marks Lutheran School (where I graduated 8th grade)...the awkward years. Those happened to be the only true websites with information on me.

Then I decided to take out my middle name (got 6440 results) and found info on the 2007 A1A Marathon and Domain Manager stuff (another perk to Office Management). Again, 2 websites.

So there you have it folks...Google rocks.

One more picture from Jackson Hole:

Random Comments

In no particular order...this is what is on my mind.

1. I saw 'There will be Blood' and I was not that impressed. It WAS good, don't get me wrong, but it did not live up to all the hype. Daniel Day Lewis was creepy and very good in that way though.
2. I NEED my own space and vow to buy a house....quickly.
3. Animal Planet is playing the 'Blue Planet' series and today was "DEEP". I always have to laugh when the scientists say the Earth has been around for like 150,599,000,000 years. I don't understand how you could not believe in God after seeing what He has created...even the fish in the deepest parts of the sea.
4. Rolling ball pens (in a fine point) are one of the best inventions ever created.
5. As soon as I get my 'Marathon Mix' started on my ipod, I can start running. Does 4 miles on the elliptical machine each day count????
6. I really don't want to go back to work tomorrow. I'd rather start running...at noon...in the rain.
7. I think I am going to go back to school for Nursing. Office Management is NOT AT ALL what it is cracked up to be...I have a little more in me than just bi-weekly payroll and the monthly Birthday and Anniversary announcements.
8. Only 25 days until Mexico...thank you Lord!
9. My work PC got upgraded to Windows XP (finally) and I lost 456 songs downloaded from my personal CD collection to itunes. Now I have to listen to other people in the office in place of good music.

Weddings rock

Tonight I went to the wedding of a pretty good friend of mine (from work, who I have known for over 6 years) and another co-worker....a double wedding. This is the first double wedding I have been to and let me tell you about the first thing that sucks about that - 2 wedding gifts. I loaned my mom out (she is talented in two ways that I am aware of now...1)nagging and 2)kick-ass organist.... to play for the wedding and then wondered if an additional present, I mean presentS should be bought. I phoned it in with Publix gift certificates - NO SHAME. The wedding was a blast. Everything was en espanol...not a bad thing really, and I could tell everyone was watching the "white folks" when they put on the Michael Jackson records. I moonwalked....and what?!
I was able to share it with like literally...two other gringos...Between the drinks, the dancing, and the social commentary...I didn't know whether to pee in my pants or do the moonwalk again. I am off to dream about better things but I leave you with this....

1) What is up with the guys who go running in jean shorts? Knee length denim shorts for men (and women for that matter) is a questionable fashion choice to begin with and I could not imagine what a man is feeling as he runs down the street (in 100% South FL humidity) in knee length stone washed denim. Hey guy - they make shorts specifically for the activity...take a trip to Target. It's not rocket science.

2) What is up with the rubber (excuse me everyone) balls that people hang from trailer hitches on their F-150 trucks? We all know you are getting really bad gas mileage and that you don't care because you are driving a big bad truck. We don't need to see the male anatomy hanging from your license plate to prove it.

Jackson Hole Pics

These are some of the best ones...
Are you kidding me? A better driver than most in FL!

Hidden Falls (3 hrs round trip and 5 miles) SO WORTH IT!

Jennifer in all her glory

A very important epiphany

Last night I was watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory which is one of my favorite movies of all time and it finally hit me...I now know who Charlie Bucket looks like.....

Jon Bon Jovi...as an adolescent.

No need to thank me. I know that you often wondered who that kid looked like, and now you know....

You're welcome...

A thousand times

Rarely are there movies that touch me the way this one did...and rarely to the core of me. Such is my experience with "The Kite Runner". Now I am not going to comment on the war or the President or anything of a political nature...however, this movie ended with an amazing line and I just could not....
Stop crying. Like I cried at the end of Cinema Paradiso (my sister had to physically hold me for several minutes). That is the kind of movie experience I want to have every time I rip open the tape of the next Netflix I get in my mailbox. Folks, if you want a movie to make you think, feel, and really ponder the important things in life, then this is the one for you. I can't even put into words how it moved me, in so many ways. See it and then tell me you don't feel the same way...and if you don't...well, then we need to talk, because I am not sure you are TOTALLY, I mean totally human...

Please, if you have seen it or decide to see it as a result of reading my rant here, please let me know what you think...

Tonight is "There will be Blood" ...rock on sucka's!

Oh yeah, and HAPPY 4th!!!! Another 4 day work week!!!!
WOO HOO!!!

Jackson Hole, WOW-oming

Well, I got back LATE last Friday evening from the MOST amazing week in Wyoming (which I never would have thought I would say). I am writing this in the color of the sky the ENTIRE time we were there. This place is like nothing I have ever seen (and I get around). The Grand Tetons are the MOST amazing mountains and the weather was PERFECT all week...the week before they had over 6 inches of snow.

We hiked 5 miles (mostly upwards) to Hidden Falls which took three hours and most of my reserved oxygen...and it was well worth the hike. We went horseback riding, whitewater rafting (Captain Ron is crazy good), went through Yellowstone, saw Old Faithful and a bunch of animals and did more hiking. I took like over 270 photos (Teresa would be SO proud) which I PROMISE to download before we go to Mexico. I PROMISE!

I cannot say enough about the beauty of this place. No trash or billboards and the ratio of men to women is like 10:1. And they are cute granola guys, let me tell you ladies.

The pictures will be coming soon...and I cannot WAIT to go back!

Disgusting Work Revelations

OK...so I am all for 'appropriate bathroom time' but this is out of the question...


On the way home yesterday, I decided to use the restroom first (no telling how slow 595-W will be at 5:45pm) and the ladies room was in use. I opted for the Men's room (people do it all the time here as they are single bathrooms) so that I could get out of the office as soon as possible!

To my surprise and utter horror, I see both the Business and the Sports section of yesterday's paper on the back of the toilet. I understand 'light bathroom reading' as much as the next person, but that should be relegated to the privacy of one's own home and NOT the work toilet. It just really kinda got under my skin for whatever reason. Gentlemen (and ladies)...PLEASE take your reading material WITH YOU when you leave the loo...







For the sake of us all.

Amazing New Products

Since Teresa is really the only person (love you sister friend!) who reads these posts, and since I was scolded to add a new one just today...my new mission in life (which will change with the direction of the wind) is to come up with photos of interesting things. This may include, but will not be limited to, interesting people, signs, animals, objects, and other interesting (and mostly pointless) bits of information.


Today is the BRAND NEW invention of DRY BABY baby dryer. All you have to do is gently wrap your cooing infant into the PATENTED loosely tied cotton poly blend dryer bag that comes with the unit. Gently place the baby into the unit and turn the unit 'ON'. The baby will bounce to and fro until completely dry...


There are no adverse affects to the baby after the cycle completes, namely because the inside of the unit is padded with cotton balls and cloth diapers.

Contact me for ordering information...Introductory price is only $399.99.

Accessories (such as baby powered scent inserts) are sold separately

Small Changes...Big Difference

So...I have been bugging my mom for like 2 years to get off her behind and start updating our house. We have ugly popcorn ceilings that we are going to change to knockdown and we are finally going to paint the walls a color other than antique white. I have been living with antique walls since I was brought home from the hospital.

Thanks to Bob (the guy that knows everyone in Hollywood and at least something about most things...not to mention KILLER ham and eggplant parm) we finally got a guy out to look at the lighting in the kitchen (and change those NASTY florescent lights to pretty recessed lighting). Bear in mind this is the very first of many steps to come with regards to the kitchen, however, it has made a world of difference and now we are even more energized and excited to get the rest of the projects going...and we even have a dimmer switch. I am SO excited!

Enjoy.

Live for Today

Lately (and as I grow older) I have realized that while it is important and VERY GOOD to plan for my future, it is even more important to live for today. The only thing I know is that I have today...tomorrow is not promised to me. While I can see that my future is becoming ever brighter, I only have control of what I do today.
Life is funny, how it bobs and weaves. The second I think I have it figured out, it throws me a curveball. Funny is this thing we call life...what with elections and rising gas prices and wildfires and the FLDS. I really have enjoyed getting older, becoming more introspective on my life (all 31 years of it). Someone said to me once that I would spend my 20's worrying about being everything to everyone (which I did) and that once I hit my 30's I would settle into 'ME'. So when my 30th birthday rolled around last March, I thought the divine light switch would turn on and I would somehow be 'enlightened' about who I "really was."
NEWFLASH - That didn't happen.
Then I turned 31 a couple of months ago and I realized if I kept going the way I was, my life wasn't going to change. I have to 1) Make a decision in my head about how I want things to go and then 2) Take an action to get them going in that direction.
As I read over (for typos, because I loathe spellcheck, and for grammatical errors) this entry I feel the weight of my words. Also, I realize that these are the thoughts in my head. Good or bad. Accepted or refuted. This is me. It has taken me 31 years (and some months) to get to know who I really am and to put 'me' out there for all of you to see.
I know one thing above every thing. I am forgiven. Lock, stock, and 2 smoking barrels. The rest is runoff. My Savior, my Father, my Comforter, loves me for exactly who I am...imperfections and all. The only thing I have control over is me and what I decide to do with these moments in front of me right now.
Am I going to choose correctly???....God give me the grace, the serenity, the courage and the peace to do just that.
That PEACE that passes ALL understanding is so freeing...I pray that you have/find it now.

PS) Not one spelling error in this one (It's kinda like getting the answer to FINAL Jeopardy correct)

77 days until Mexico!

It's that time of year again...when we plan the Annual Girl's Trip. This will be the 2nd Annual Mexico stay and after getting an e-mail from Teresa this morning with an official countdown, I am not embarrassed to put it in writing. The weeks seem to flying by this year (I cannot believe it's almost Memorial Day) so I am sure I will be posting pics of the trip in no time. I can't wait! I am so thankful that I have a job that affords me the luxury of reduced Travel Industry rates.

I am thankful for many things much more important than that in the grand scheme of things. Jesus, Salvation, my family, my friends, health, a job, a car, a home, every next breath, living in America, laughter, dreams and hopes, and the promise of an abundant life.

Lately, I find my thoughts drifting towards the things I am most thankful and grateful for. I choose today to focus my energy on what I have and not what I want. Thank God for Friday!!!

I saw a guy in the gym this morning with an obvious toupee. Seriously guy, you are not kidding anyone...and isn't it really hot and scratchy under there? Besides, what does it smell like after a good long workout? I enjoy admiring it from afar.

Let's see, what else? A pretty uneventful day today, other than a 3-hour long meeting at work that almost made me want to rip my toenails out one by one. Here are a few of thoughts I had while in the meeting (I jotted them down so that I could recall them for you)
1 - Pretend like you are paying attention.
2 - Listening to someone talk who you don't want to hear.
3 - Wishing you were somewhere else.
4 - Vacations...coming soon!!!
5 - I can't wait for this meeting to be over - 44 minutes to go.

Notice the obvious lack of concentration and immediate downward spiral into daydreaming (see #4). This is me...I have an amazing ability to instantly lose focus on things that just don't interest me. What was I just talking about? Enjoy the picture below. It's from Halloween a few years ago, but it is classic Lauren. MUAH!

I'm bringing sexy back

Every time I look at this picture I laugh out loud - hopefully you will too!

Why my life is funny....

My cat - Meow Meow

Noteworthy events??? Questionable

So today was Monday and those aren't usually at the top of my list for favorite days. My body was slow going at 6:15am, but I did make it to the gym, and thankfully no one farted. Life is measured in the small victories.

Then I got to work, and this blog is not specifically about any particular events at the workplace, but I can say that each day becomes what you want it to be...what you choose to make your perspective towards it be. Now, here I sit, watching a guy with only one leg complete the Eliminator on American Gladiator... another perspective shift. Lord, never let me forget how blessed I am each, with each and every breath. I pray the make most of each of them!

One other funny thing to note. I had an appointment this evening near work, so I brought my dinner with me to my Dad's house to eat. It's nice, because he has chosen to go the year without any TV so I am forced to do other things. One of those other things was to trim his eyebrows. This guy has four hairs on his head, but the rate at which the hair on his face grows is amazing. If I could figure out a way to harness that technology...boy oh boy. But the funniest part is this - he starts giving me pointers on how to comb up the hair with the little brush to trim them. I am sorry, but the VERY LAST PERSON I will ever take beauty advice from is my Dad. Tapered jeans, shirts from Griffs Western store, and yes ladies...a black leather fanny pack. There is not one thing I can do about it either. He's totally cool with it. Next time you see him, look for it. It might be under his fishing t-shirt, but it's there....
Gotta love the parents!

Later peeps

Awesome Weekend

This has been a great weekend so far...why, you ask? Well, yesterday, Jennifer, my Dad, and I all went up to Jupiter (the Loxahatchee River) to Riverbend Park and we rented single person kayaks and went up the river. We had lunch before leaving and saw some cool wildlife - a peacock, a gator, an owl, and some jumping fish. It felt like I was on a middle school field trip. Totally awesome (yep, I am bringing the saying back from 1985) time. We always have fun together. As usual, my dad found a way to sabotage any progress I had made up to that point in the trip. Upon launching my kayak down a steep incline back into the water, he dumped me over into the water. He says it wasn't his fault and that I was unbalanced. Jennifer said he pushed me in. The best part was there were people waiting behind us to launch their canoe out...
Then last night, we met Pam and Bob at the Grand Opening of Crown Liquor in Pembroke Pines for a wine tasting event. Note to self...those things are not all they are cracked up to be. I must say though, that the people watching and wine snobbery makes for endless hours of interesting fun. Pam and Bob make it all even more fun. I am thankful for great friends.
Today I sit in the kitchen anticipating the day's coming feasting events. It's Mother's Day so I gotta hook it up for Mom-dukes. Bourbon ham, potatoes and asparagus...and you all know the best part about a dinner with asparagus...right? I digress. So I am going back to downloading more music to my cute little ipod.
Peace out.

Random thoughts for today

I plan to write in this thing every day (if I can). You may not want to read it and most of it is pointless rambling, but it's mine and I embrace it for that alone...so here are some very random conversation starters (or enders)...



1. I never understood the phenomenon of nurses who smoke. Did you not learn anything in school?

2. My dog eats anything, including duck and cat poop or anything that resembles food or packaging that food was in at some point in time.

3. People with really bad breath tend to be close talkers...and unformtunately, not sugar-free gum chewers.

4. I hate it when I get the chills just after I shaved my legs. The hair starts to immediately grow back and it happens EVERY TIME! All the work was done in vain.

5. People watching is the best - especially at the airport, the beach, or just driving down the road.

6. 'The Office' - I work in my own version of it...and most of it is right on the money. Except there is no one resembling a 'Jim' here...figures.

7. Mexico - The sun, the people, the food, the margaritas - Ole!

8. I love to cook! Especially for people who love to eat. Better than that, I love to watch them eat it and wait for the expression on their face to change.

9. My sister - In 2 words...Rock Star

10. My ipod nano - I got it for Christmas and am still figuring it out/downloading songs, but it is like a soundtrack for my life. ACDC needs to get in on itunes already. They have a couple really good songs I could be working out to by now.

11. People who drive miles upon miles with their blinker on. Is the music up that high that they can't hear it or are they completely deaf? Oh, no... wait...they're Canadian. They will eventually turn left.

12. I work out early in the morning at the gym and I do 30-45 min of machine-based cardio. For all those people (it's that same uppity lawyer guy every time) who fart while on the machine right next to me (while I am trapped there) YOU SUCK. Take a dump before you leave the house please, for the sake of the rest of us

13. Lake Titicaca, Peru - that's all I have to say (google it - it exists)

I am running a whole marathon

So I finally decided to bite the bullet and run an ENTIRE marathon. In 2007, I ran the A1A Half Marathon, which was the hardest physical thing I have ever done. I guess that wasn't enough so I thought I would try to completely put myself into running torture and go for the gusto - 26.2 miles.

I really do not enjoy (not like runners do anyway) running for the sake of running, however, I have always wanted to run a marathon. Go figure.
I think of it as my best shot at overcoming a physical demanding challenge that many people will never attempt. I am ever chasing the 'above average' bubble to pencil in for myself. Since I am never going to make it the US Olympic team, this is my best shot at a medal...and bragging rights.

The race is not until February 22, 2009 but I am saying this out loud now. The more people who know about it, the better off I will be. Start praying for me now. My knees will need it. And if you can make to the finish line and drag me over it that would rock too...

I am going to start looking for a really good charity/cause to run for as well. In 2007, it was Broward House (http://www.browardhouse.org/) a worthy cause. I will most likely be asking everyone I know for some money as well...so start saving your pennies.

Martha Stewart = Boring Brilliance

I think that jail did do her some good. She seems to have a spring in her step now, smiles a little more, and looks like she is actually having fun with her guests (and her newest sidekick Emeril Lagasse).
I have loved her since I realized I like to do crafty and baking kind of stuff (somewhere in Middle School). I used to do all these projects she would come with for tiny pieces of paper and ribbon and give them away at Christmas time...
Every time I see a commercial for her show, I am totally tricked into watching it. I think to myself, WOW...Martha has a pretty full show today, let's watch. Then I start watching it...and five minutes into the show I look like that guy sitting next to me on the Jet Blue flight to Boston who fell asleep with his mouth open. I realized that the entire show can be summed up in the 30 second commercial for it...Please let me also note that she never lets anyone get a word in edgewise.
I have decided to stick with searching her Archives online for stuff, because frankly, I have better things to do with ANY one hour of my day.

I carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart

(i carry it in my heart)

ee cummings